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Change comes to the Firehole

May 29, 2013 / Kirk Werner / 4 Comments

The annual pilgrimage to Yellowstone is a trip of traditions where very little changes year to year and we generally wouldn’t have it any other way. In most cases, change is bad: nothing wrong with a little status quo. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? Well, this year there were some notable changes to the program and change isn’t always bad.

2013 Firehole Rookie Ranger

For 2013 the Firehole Rangers were joined by a new Rookie Ranger and 3 guests. This year’s Rookie Ranger was Sir Lancelot—~~a gentleman~~ someone I’ve known for many years and have fished with and written about previously. In fact Lancelot was the first guest blogger to grace the pages of the UA. Lancelot was a welcome addition to the ranks; he’s the type of guy that makes you feel better about yourself.

Robert and 2/3 of the Trifecta

Our 3 guests included two of the Trifecta: Rachel and Aileen (Rebecca was unable to make it). They were joined by Aileen’s fiancee Robert, who had never before angled (he can’t say that any more). It was great to finally meet folks with whom I’d previously had only the occasion to meet via the internets. No unsavory surprises here, though I am not sure they can say the same.

No, really—it’s not that bad.

Trifecta of cats.

Speaking of unsavory…a big surprise was the office lobby at the Ho Hum which, while still heavy with the smell of cat, was actually tolerable this year. Aileen and Rachel may not have agreed, but they had nothing to compare it with. Take our word for it, ladies—it smelled nearly like potpurri this year (get it? purr-i?). Sorry, that was lame.

Jimmy’s Jordans.

Another change for 2013 was fashion. Not something that has ever before been a consideration, clothing and accessories actually played a significant role in this year’s trip. First up: Jimmy’s shoes. Not really sure what would possess a grown man to purchase shoes like this even if they were free. Rest assured Jimmy took a ration of crap over it, but perhaps not as much crap as was dished out for Lancelot…

Cantaloupe was in plentiful supply.

Lancelot’s shirt made Jimmy’s shoes seem not all that bad. What may have looked good on Rachel cannot the same thing be said of Lancelot and it was the conclusion of the Ranger Disciplinary Panel that there’s absolutely no reason for a man to wear a shirt that color. Or powder blue for that matter although I regret that I did not take a photo of The Gooseman and Morris sporting their powder blue shirts—you’ll just have to take my word they they made a cute couple.

Facial fashion.

The final Firehole fashion frenzy came by way of Aileen’s and Morris’s matching Buff things. Note that they each selected shirts in a shade of blue to compliment their Buffs: Aileen sporting a royal blue while Morris rocked the powder blue referenced above.

Unrelenting blue sky.

And while we’re on the subject of blue, the final and perhaps most significant deviation from previous years came by way of the weather. We’re accustomed to fishing in intermittent snow and driving rain. Last year and the year before have seen the worst of what Mother Nature can muster for this time of year. Sunscreen was required as we fished in our shirtsleeves under sunny skies on Saturday this year. Sunday featured a few more clouds but temperatures remained comfortably in the 60’s.

Change—sometimes good, sometimes bad, is what it is. There was plenty of it this year.

Thar she blows!

May 18, 2013 / Kirk Werner / 5 Comments

May 18, 1980

On the 33rd anniversary of the eruption of Mount St. Helens, I harken back to where I was and what I was doing. I was 17—a junior in high school. It was a Sunday, so I can tell you for certain I was not in church. I was living on the west side of the Cascades in a Seattle suburb. To be quite honest, the eruption was a non-event if you lived on the western side of the state. But if you lived on the other side, in central or eastern WA, it was a different story altogether.

Ash plume moves east.

Ask Mrs. Unaccomplished Angler and she’ll recall a vastly different day. She was in church, and the sky turned black as the ash plume drifted over her hometown of Yakima, WA. Ash fell from the sky, blanketing the ground. There was widespread panic and anxiety. Nobody knew if the ash was harmful to the touch or toxic to breath. There was no internet for disseminating information. Kids were out of school for nearly two weeks. Deliveries were halted to area businesses so grocery stores depleted their inventory. It was serious business.

St. Helens from the visitor’s center.

Mount St. Helens: the crater

But there was no destruction per se—it was nothing like the devastation that occurred in closer proximity to the mountain itself. In the years since May 18, 1980 I’ve seen videos, films and countless still photos but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I actually visited the scene of the crime first hand. To stand at the observation point looking directly at the mountain and the course of the mud flow that followed the eruption is to be blown away by the magnitude of the scale and the shear destructive power of mother nature.

Mt. Rainier: “Hey, Tacoma—You’re toast, dude!”

Still the power of the St. Helens eruption is child’s play compared to the devastation that ~~would~~ will likely occur if when Mt. Rainier blows its lid. I hope that doesn’t happen in my lifetime—it would change the course of life in western Washington, very likely making Spokane the second—if not THE largest economic center of the state. Tacoma stands a very real threat of being buried under several feet of mud, for sure. Seattle as a whole probably won’t crumble physically, but some reports suggest that even parts of Washington’s largest city could be devastated as the lahar (mud tsunami) hurtles rapidly down Rainier’s many river drainages toward Puget Sound. The damage to the local economy would have its effects. Like I said, I hope this happens long after I’m gone.

But it could be worse.

image courtesy http://www.nps.gov/yell/naturescience/caldera.htm

One night several years ago while drinking beer in a bar in West Yellowstone, a local “character” (who appeared to be medicated) began to tell of the Yellowstone Supervolcano and the effects it would have on not only the greater Yellowstone area, but the entire region and in fact the world. I’ve no doubt he was medicated but his words were not far from the truth. It’s no surprise to visitors of the park that Yellowstone is all about volcanic activity. Check out the general information provided by our friends over at Wikipedia. Of particular note is the paragraph that includes Seismic Hazards and Hydromthermal Exlosion Hazards.

Bubbling pot of hot water.

Warming one’s, um—hands—by a steam vent…

A good place to be.

My intent with this blog post is not to scare you. No, that’s what THIS ARTICLE is for. Nor do I want to deter you from visiting Yellowstone and fishing the Firehole. In fact, put it on your bucket list because it’s a fascinating river to fish for reasons well beyond the fishing.

But if you’re like me, when the Yellowstone Supervolcano does blow—and eventually it will—you do not want to be sitting at home several hundreds of miles away, where you’ll have time to hear about the eruption on the news and panic before you’re wiped out.

No, I want to be standing knee deep in the Firehole—essentially right on top of the caldera—when she blows.

I hope it doesn’t erupt next week, but if it does I’ll be there.

Go get yourself some cheap sunglasses

May 17, 2013 / Kirk Werner / 0 Comments

As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to greatly appreciate fine eyewear. When I was younger I couldn’t afford good sunglasses, nor did I really need them. Now that I’m officially middle-aged, I value good sunglasses greatly. I also wear prescription sunglasses so a quality pair makes even more sense.

But not everyone wants to spend or can afford expensive, high-quality sunglasses for fishing. I’ve had dimestore variety shades that have lasted a decent amount of time and the lenses were okay at cutting the glare. Noithing to write home about, mind you, but functional.

I was recently approached by Fisherman Eyewear and asked if I’d be interested in trying a pair of their sunglasses. I never turn down an offer for something free (beer included), so I told them I’d field their offer. I also told them that since I wear prescriptions I would be giving the glasses away. No problem.

So, here we are. I have a pair of Fisherman Eyewear polarized (since 1974, mind you) sunglasses for one unaccomplished follower. Before we get to that, let’s review Fisherman Eyewear for a moment, shall we? From their press department:

Fisherman Eyewear’s tradition-rich brand of Polarized sunglasses, embodies five pillars: heritage, innovation, value, style and quality. After nearly four decades of producing technologically advanced yet affordable eyewear, Fisherman Eyewear continues to introduce the best shades to anglers and outdoorsmen alike. Featuring a Lifetime Warranty, Fisherman lenses are always Polarized and always offer 100% UVA/UVB protection.

Alrighty, there you have it right from the horse’s mouth. I have no reason to doubt their claims, but you’ll have to be the judge of that. What I have here for you is a pair of the Skipjack series in Matte Frost/Gray. The retail price is an affordable $20 so if you don’t win these glasses you can order them reasonably online right HERE.

How do you win these glasses? The contest plays out on the Unaccomplished Angler Facebook page. Follow these instructions very carefully: I will be posting a photo of the Fisherman Sunglasses on the UA FB page. Post a comment under that photo declaring why you would never spend more than $20 on a pair of sunglasses. I’ll choose the winning comment on Wednesday May 22nd.

Go.

Niether much fishing nor blogging

May 7, 2013 / Kirk Werner / 11 Comments

Just the beginning of runoff…

I used to feel guilty for having missed a week of blog entrying. I also used to have withdrawals if I went too long between fishings.

Well, the latter hasn’t changed, and I’m going nearly crazy for lack of fishing. Rivers, that is. I prefer river fishing. I could figure out a way to fish the salt for searrun cutthroats, or I could visit any number of local lakes that have been recently stocked and opened for fishing.

But I prefer river fishing.

So two weeks ago I went river fishing. Going in we knew conditions would be less than stellar, but we needed to fish. We encountered a Yakima River that was high and rising, off-color, a bit windy, and mostly fishless; fairly typical Spring fishing on the Yakima, ~~Washington’s only Blue Ribbon Trout Stream~~. 4,000 CFS is the typical sustained summertime flow, and on this day the river was around 3,600. So it wasn’t all that high—just higher than it had been recently.

But the sun was shining, and we did hook into 4 fish and one was landed. Not by me, but by Morris the Rookie Firehole Ranger. Marck and I each played with fish but failed to seal the deal. Oh well. It was a good day that included a burger and cold beer at The Brick Saloon in Roslyn on our way home.

Rowing the Hornet so Marck could not catch fish.

Now the Yakima is completely gone, as in headed upwards of 7ooo CFS. Fishing it would be a waste of gas.

But I need to fish. I may have to take my Watermaster out of mothballs and go visit a local lake. It’s getting that bad.

As for blog entrying, I don’t mind missing a week. Or two. Or three.

Nor do I suspect any of you mind, either.

Kim Jong Angler?

April 5, 2013 / Kirk Werner / 15 Comments

Kim Jong Un is upset. With the current tensions emanating from the Korean Peninsula, one has to wonder if perhaps Kim Jong Un might benefit from a little chill time—perhaps a few days off to do a bit of reflecting on the situation at large. A time out, as it were. Maybe even do a little angling.

Assuming of course that the benevolent leader of North Korea does partake of recreational fishing, one must ponder the type of angler he is. It’s safe to assume that His Omnipotence sees himself as a skilled fisherman; a rather accomplished angler, if you will.

As he sees himself: Kim Jong Accomplished

But given the fact that the North Korean regime has a reputation for speaking in less than truthful ways, we would not be remiss if we were to suppose that the Boy Leader is considerably less accomplished as an angler than he sees himself (most of us are, right?).

As he really is: Kim Jong Un-accomplished

Welcome to the club, Kim Jong Un-accomplished. Let’s send him a sticker.

UA stickers arriving soon via US Air Mail.

Rusty nails and steelhead, or lack thereof

April 3, 2013 / Kirk Werner / 7 Comments

Fear no nail.

The word Tetanus apparently stems from two words: Tet and Anus. We’re all familiar with the Vietnamese New Year, which has no bearing on today’s discussion. It’s the latter word that we’ll be focusing on.

~~Young~~ middle-aged men like me know that when we submit for an annual physical, certain procedures are going to be a pain in the arse. Surprisingly, however, it was something completely unrelated that proved to be the biggest pain of all: a simple tetanus booster. No, I did not get a tetanus shot in my backside. You see, I had scheduled the routine physical months in advance; long before a 3-day steelhead fishing trip with the Brothers Albacore was even a blip on the radar. As it turned out, my doctor appointment was the morning of the day we would depart for Forks, WA. All the expected things occurred during my physical, butt what I did not expect was the suggestion of a tetanus shot.

This won’t hurt…until tomorrow.

Apparently this tetanus vaccination is being recommended by the mysterious people who recommend vaccinations, and since I just happened to have intentions of stepping on a rusty nail very soon, I agreed to the shot. No big deal. To paraphrase my doctor, the residual affects of the tetanus booster would be some localized soreness in my shoulder. Not a problem. Just stick me in the left arm because I’m right-handed. I’d be casting my single-handed rod as well as my Spey rod; any discomfort would be a mild annoyance at best. Piece of cake. The shot into the muscle was hardly felt, and before long I was on my way to the Edmonds-Kingston Ferry with my fishing companions. Bring on the rusty nails.

The forecast looked promising. Flow graphs showed a steady drop on the Olympic Peninsula Rivers, with no rain forecasted. That in and of itself was a strange prospect: fishing the OP without rain? What?! We did drive through some snow showers between Port Angeles and Forks, but once we arrived at our destination the weather appeared to be improving as we fished a run on the Bogachiel River that afternoon. The river was cloudy with very compromised visibility, but things were dropping and clearing. Though we didn’t touch a fish that first day we looked ahead to the next morning with confident anticipation.

Sampling the water, Day One

I am not a morning person, and steelhead fishing comes with early risings. So when the alarm sounded at 4 AM it came as no surprise that I didn’t feel 100%. I prepared breakfast for the three of us and sat down to a plate of eggs, hash browns and sausage—hearty fuel for a long day ahead; a meal I could eat with confidence knowing that my cholesterol levels were all good. But as I stared at my plate I felt myself feeling worse by the minute: Headache, check. Muscle soreness in the left arm, check. Overall body aches, check. What the hell? I understood the sore arm—that was to be expected. But the other symptoms were an unpleasant surprise. Oh well, this was no time for being a Nancy Boy— we had steelhead to catch, so out the door we marched. Overnight the temperature had dropped and brought with it a dusting of snow. It would be a cold start to the day, but clearing skies were promised.

Morning, Day Two

By the time we launched Large Albacore’s raft and ran our shuttle, we got on the water by around 8 AM. I was feeling even worse by this time, but I did manage to nymph the first short run from the back of the raft. We then pulled over to swing a run with the “Poles of Futility” (as our friend Joe Willauer lovingly refers to Spey rods). With each passing moment I dropped deeper in the abyss of misery. Rather than swing the run I remained perched on my ass in the back seat wondering how I could possibly have the flu, given that I’d had the flu shot earlier in the winter. While my partners angled I took the opportunity of good cellular coverage to consult the internets about possible side affects of the tetanus booster. Loe and behold it appeared that I was a poster child for flu-like symptoms that are not uncommon side affects (although I was not informed of these potential side affects when I agreed to the shot 24 hours earlier). My only hope was that the symptoms would be short-lived; that I would feel better sooner than later. I could have exited the raft at this point and walked back to the truck but I elected to stick it out. If by chance I started to feel better during the day, I wanted to be in the boat—not back at the Pacific Inn Motel. My decision, while perhaps noble, was misguided.

Dweller in the back of the boat.

As the day wore on, my arm became so sore that I could barely get my hand in and out of my coat pocket. Slumped in defeat, my chin rested on my chest as I either slept or remained partially conscious in the back of the boat while Junior rowed and Large fished, or vice versa. Throughout the day we would stop at a good piece of swinging water so they could both ply the waters with their Poles of Futility. I hardly lifted my head to watch. On occasion I would get off my ass and climb from the boat just to get my blood moving in an attempt to stave off the cold. It was an increasingly nice day, but there was a chill in the air; especially for the semi-comatose. At times I would get a case of the shivers but didn’t know if it was due to the cold or the side affects of the shot. Damnit either way. As the day droned on my backside was killing me from having sat on it for so long without budging. At some point during the day, after initially ribbing me for being a wuss, I believe the Brothers Albacore actually began to take pity on me.

Unaccomplished Non-Angler.

Suffice it to say the day was long, and not just for the miserable non-angler in the back of the boat. After 9 hours on the water, neither Junior nor Large Albacore had been shown any love by the wild steelhead in the Bogachiel River. Had I been feeling better and able to fish I’m confident that there would have been 3 skunks dealt. But this was just Day One, and because we’re all three sunny optimists, it was agreed upon that at least Mother Nature had been kind to us; more typical Forks weather would have made my predicament a whole lot more miserable. Had that happened I would have complained incessantly, making the day miserable for my two angling companions. Yes, it could have been worse.

A nice day to be feeling like shit.

At this point the question on everyone’s minds is, “Hey, Unaccomplished Angler—how’d you feel the next day and did you guys catch any fish?”

The answer to the first question is, “Like crap.”

And the answer to the second question is, “No.”

After running the shuttle for the Albacores the next morning, I packed up and made the 4-hour journey home. It wasn’t until the next day that I felt better, and not until the 4th day that I was back 100%. It was on that 4th day that I called my doctor’s office and spoke with the nurse practitioner. I told her how sick I’d been from the shot and her response suggested that that was very common. What!? Very common?! Had I been told that there was a likely chance of that I would have scheduled the tetanus shot for sometime AFTER my fishing trip.

When I get my bill from the doctor, I’m going to invoice them for the cost of my ill-fated trip. The invoice should come as a surprise, which seems like a fair trade to me.

Occupy Skagit – April 6th

March 25, 2013 / Kirk Werner / 3 Comments

The Skagit River

The Skagit River in my home state of Washington probably needs little introduction. After all, even if you live on the other side of the world you’ve probably heard of Skagit casting and Skagit lines for Spey and switch rods. In the event that you’re still not familiar with the Skagit our good friends at Wikipedia offer a thorough description HERE.

The Skagit is a vast river system historically held in high acclaim among anglers as a destination fishery for wild steelhead. It wasn’t many decades ago that steelhead runs were plentiful throughout all rivers in this damp corner of the United States, but unfortunately the cumulative effects from overharvest, habitat loss and other environmental factors have not been kind to these fish. Wild Pacific Northwest steelhead have since been listed under the Endangered Species Act because their populations are either endangered or threatened.

While many Pacific Northwest rivers have greatly diminished runs of wild steelhead, the Skagit runs remain comparatively strong. That’s not to say that Skagit fish numbers aren’t down from historical peaks, but on its own the Skagit probably would not have been listed under the ESA.

Until 2010 a catch-and-release (C&R) season used to run through the end of April on the Skagit system. What used to be a wonderful time of year for anglers on the Skagit and it’s most notable tributary, the Sauk, is a thing of the past due to closures by the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife (WDFW). The Osprey Steelhead News does a very good job of detailing this whole matter.

After reviewing the evidence used by WDFW to justify the closure it is the belief of the grassroots Occupy Skagit movement that the evidence is flawed; that a well-managed, catch-and-release (C&R) season on the Skagit would not be inconsistent with the recovery of its wild winter steelhead.

Rather than reguritate (poorly, I might add) the information, I am posting here a piece written by an Occupy Skagit member to answer the many questions posed by fellow steelhead anglers on a Northwest online bulletin board.

It’s pretty clear to those of us who fish that no fish ever benefited by being hooked and caught by an angler. Complete preservation, of fish and their habitat, is the perfect solution from a fish’s point of view. But Occupy Skagit (OS) is not about the fish’s point of view.

OS is about steelheaders who would rather fish than see their favorite river closed to fishing forevermore. Realistically, that is the present outlook simply because there is no plan to ever open the Skagit to fishing for wild steelhead again. OS is about developing such a plan, as soon as possible, so that anglers may fish the Skagit again in their lifetimes.

The concept that we must let the fish recover before we can fish for them again is a discussion based on false assumptions and unrealistic expectations. Wild Skagit steelhead are a population in no particular need of recovery. “What?” you say, “It’s consistently produced run sizes lower than the escapement goal.” But that’s not the whole story.

Wild Skagit steelhead are the most abundant in Puget Sound. Since 1978, the run size has averaged 7,822 fish, ranging from a low of around 2,600 to a high of 16,000. The spawning escapement has averaged 6,857 steelhead after harvest, both incidental and directed. As far as anyone can know for certain, this variation in population size is completely normal. There are good years, and there are bad years. Freshwater floods and droughts limit the out-migrating smolt population from year to year. The freshwater habitat has not really changed much in the last 30 years. Some parts have degraded further, and some parts have improved. On balance, it would be hard to quantify any significant change. And marine survival factors limit the percentage of smolts that survive to adulthood and return from the ocean each year. Given what we know about run sizes and escapement over a more than 30-year period, there is no logical reason to believe that wild Skagit steelhead runs will ever consistently average above the present spawning escapement floor value.

The escapement goal is an artifact of uncertainty. The aggregate model that escapement goals were developed from in the 1980s calculated a Skagit spawning escapement goal far above 20,000. Since that seemed impractable and unrealistic, biologists rather arbitrarily picked 10,000 as an escapement guideline. In the 1980s, when marine survival was higher than it is now, that value appeared realistic. As more data were collected and analyzed, it was apparent that the Maximum Sustained Yield / Maximum Sustained Harvest escapement goal would be much lower, slightly less than 4,000. That seems low for such a large river basin, so the co-managers settled on 6,000 as a buffered escapement floor for some interim period. The take-home message in this paragraph is that no relationship exists between the Skagit wild steelhead spawning escapement goal and the actual productivity and capacity of the Skagit River basin to produce steelhead. Please re-read the last sentence and be certain that you understand it.

The last paragraph means that the Skagit wild steelhead spawning escapement goal is arbitrary, and possibly capricious. It’s meaning is primarily make-believe then. This leads me to the question of for what purpose are Skagit steelhead managed? Is it strictly species preservation, like a petting zoo, except you can’t actually pet the animals? Or is the purpose to conserve the population for the mutual long-term benefit of the species as well as human social and economic benefits. If the purpose is the former, then the present course is the one to stay on. If the latter, then a change is required.

A reinstatement of the previous C&R season will require a petition from WDFW to the National Marine Fisheries Service for a permit that establishes basin-specific allowable impacts (as is currently being done with Puget Sound Chinook).

To bring attention to this matter Occupy Skagit is calling for as many anglers as possible to turn out on April 6th and cast hookless chunks of yarn into the waters of the Skagit and Sauk rivers. The plan is to meet at Howard Miller Steelhead Park in Rockport, WA at 9 AM. For more information visit the Occupy Skagit Facebook Page:

Sometimes you have to dump a little tea into the harbor…

April 16th, 2009 – Last C&R season on the Sauk River

No Shortage of Good Hats: Contest Results

March 19, 2013 / Kirk Werner / 14 Comments

I must, and therefore I will say, that the turnout for this contest was exceptional. It wasn’t necessarily the number of entries that impressed me (30), in case you didn’t check, but rather it was the quality of the hats being worn by folks and the passion those people have for their hats that really stood out. Some of the entrants went out of their way to ~~ramble on at length~~ tell stories about their hats while others let their photos do the majority of the talking. No matter the case, all entries were greatly enjoyed and appreciated.

Getting to know these many hats was akin to visting the dog pound and looking at all the puppies behind the chain link fencing: while you want to take them all home, you realize that is simply not possible. By selecting 2 winners, 28 would get nothing. Not even a participant’s ribbon. It’s a tough brand of love for a cruel world. Get over it.

Alas, without further ado:

In 2nd Place, taking home the foam-filled, flat-brimmed Pabst Blue Ribbon Trucker Hat and Unaccomplished Angler sticker…

2nd Place Prizes

Andrew Roth. There are many reasons why Andrew was chosen to win the 2nd place prize: read his entry. But more importantly is the reason he was not chosen to win the 1st place prize: ~~I didn’t think he was deserving of it~~ He really needs the PBR hat.

2nd Place, Andrew Roth

And in 1st Place, the lucky recipient of the autographed copy of John Gierach’s No Shortage of Good Days; signed print, Close to Home by Bob White; and a DownUnder Hat by Simms…

1st Place Prizes

Jason Tucker. He said it best in his entry, “It seemed like a good idea at the time, but rum can be a mean trickster.” Jason can now have both form and function with the Simms DownUnder Hat, and for those days when the weather isn’t up to Dominican Republic standards he can stay inside and read, or gaze at the fine print that will surely grace his wall. Disclaimer: 1st place was chosen by process of elimination, whereby the top 5 entries (of my choosing) were thrown into a hat and the winner drawn accordingly.

Jason Tucker

Thank you to Bob White and John Gierach, and Simms for your generous contributions to this contest. And thank you to the legions of Unaccomplished Angler readers for taking the time out of your busy lives to engage us with your presence.

Happy Feet by Korkers

March 18, 2013 / Kirk Werner / 4 Comments

I like saving a nickel, but I also like nice things. Often times that puts me in a bit of a bind.

A few weeks ago, after jonesin’ for a pair of Korkers Fisherman’s Mocs (which I did not get for Christmas or my birthday this year as requested), I finally pulled the trigger.

I found a pair of size 8’s on Ebay for ten bucks less than the MSRP of $79.95. So I bought them. When they arrived it became immediately clear that they were way too small for my feet. Length was fine, however I have not only a wide foot, but a high instep as well. There was no way I was going to make these work.

I hear your simple advice already,”Don’t fret, UA—just send them back!”

Uh, right. Well, not quite. You see, in my haste to save ten bucks I bought them from a private Ebay seller. No returns.

Stupid stupid stupid.

So I figured I would try to sell them on a popular fly fishing forum with an active classified section. While I have not yet at the time of this writing sold the Mocs, the banter did pretty entertaining. Tough crowd.

Enter Korkers Customer Service, who got wind of my situation and offered to send me a size 9 at no cost to me.

What can I say about that? Pretty amazing customer service if you ask me, since this was something I brought on myself. And what of the new shoes? Do they fit like a glove? Thankfully, no. But they do fit my feet nicely and I am rather enjoying them.

Thanks Korkers, and thanks also to Jen from Fly Fishilicious for your help.

Happy Feet

No Shortage of Good Hats: the Entries

March 13, 2013 / Kirk Werner / 34 Comments

Unless you just crawled out from under a rock or you’ve been incarcerated without access to the internets, then you know about the contest we’re running here at the UA. For the past two weeks, ~~needy contestants~~ salt-of-the-Earth UA fans have been submitting their own fishing hats for consideration of a chance to win a signed copy of John Gierach’s No Shortage of Good Days; a signed, limited-edition giclee print of Bob White’s Close to Home painting, and a DownUnder Hat from Simms. Oh, and there’s also a swanky PBR trucker hat and UA sticker as a consolation prize.

In a week we’ll announce the winner(s). Feel free to comment—you may be able to influence the judges’ decisions (their integrity is questionable).

Here are the entries in no particular order….

Ed Meyer

1. Ed Meyer: “Wanted to show the hat in 3 different poses so you could see that it’s the hat that looks so damn good and not just the fact that it’s me making the hat look so damn good.” That’s a fine hat, a fine trout and a fine fox, Ed. And your beard invokes envy among lesser men such as myself.

Bob Diefenbacher

2. Bob Diefenbacher: “Nothing inherently special about the hat, just a Costa Marlin trucker cap. Nor does it appear to make me anymore good looking than any of the other hats I own. But in the moment that I pick it up to put it on, I’m always reminded of this day, casting on the beach with my son at my side. Sentimental hats are the best hats.” It’s almost not fair playing the kid card, Bob. But I’m glad you did—nothing better than spending time with our kids on the water. We gotta be good to them because some day they’re going to be taking care of us.

Rick Mangus

3. Rick Mangus: “This is the best damn hat because it makes my face look so thin compared to other hats. I also have an 8 1/4 size head, Tilley makes the only one that fits me. It also always brings me a brown trout of huge size. It is the thinning though that makes it the best.” Wow, an 8-1/4 size head? You certainly can’t tell from the photo thanks to your best damn hat. I bet that brown is 27 inches, too, eh?

Ron Begnaud

4. Ron Begnaud: “At first glance this may look like a mere ball cap, but it’s so much more. While the Tim Borski drawn logo of Uptown Angler has it’s own appeal, the main reason this hat makes me look good is because when I wear it, I catch fish. This hat is skunk proof and attracts hogzilla sized fish better than power bait. I’ve never been one for superstitions excepting where fishing hats are concerned. There are rules for fishing hats.

Rule 1, NEVER wash a fishing hat, you’ll wash the mojo right out of it. Your hat being blown off of your head and into the water while running the boat does not count as a washing.

Rule 2, A hat must grow its mojo. A brand new hat off of the shelf has not yet aged and developed the patina of good luck required of a propper fishing hat.

Rule 3, A hat you got for free will inherently have more good mojo than one you paid for. A hat you “got for free” by “forgetting to return it” after borrowing will have more luck than a hat you were freely given.

Rule 4, Recovering your hat from a seemingly lost situation..i.e. blowing off of your head and into the drink while doing hyper sonic speeds in your boat, increases the mojo of the hat.

Rule 5, The amount of luck a fishing hat has is proportional to the strength of its odor. Believe me when I say you want to stay up wind of my fishing hat.” I would tend to agree with your Rules, Ron. A fishing hat is like an old pair of underpants. Sort of.

Pat Konoske

5. Pat Konoske: “So…you stumped me. I don’t have a favorite hat, per se. Though my new Tilly is quite nice, and covers my somewhat big ears and fits my generous head (all those brains you, know). But when I started looking around, I found one hat that seems to appear more often than others and at some of the best times. First, this was a free hat that makes me look like I’m much more of a fly fisherman than I really am. That alone is a good quality in a hat.

#1: Wore this hat during my first visit to the Yak, and just before lunch dredged a nice pool with a nymph (the guide tried to hide a frown) for this rainbow.

#2: A nice riverside lunch after nymphing up that rainbow.

#3: This hat also kept my noggin warm during an early morning on Eagle Lake (Calif.), and this fish was one of 25-plus that would get to see my hat that day.

Doesn’t have much character, but it was free and came with a dozen Czech nymphs. And I don’t know many fly fisherman who turn down anything free.”

You really are a cheap son of a mother, aren’t you, Pat? And here all along I thought, due to your taste for fancy beers, that you were all high fallutin’.

Nella Flurkey

6. Nella Flurkey: “This is a picture of me with my favorite fishing hat. I love my hat and I’ve had it for years, but I need to find a new one. I think it has shrunk from leaving it in my truck too much during hot weather. I’m hoping to win one of your UA stickers as I am converting a 72 FJ40 into my fishing rig and it needs some stickers! Really enjoy your blog!” Thanks for ~~sucking up~~ the kind words, Nella. I would be honored to have an UA sticker adorning your classic FJ…

Mike Sepelak

7. Mike Sepelak: “Well, I couldn’t pass up representin’ my go-to Adidas cap. Wouldn’t feel right on the water without it, though it’s nothing special (to anyone but me).” Your hat may be nothin’ special, Mike, but your photo is.

Michael Lenetsky

8. Michael Lenetsky: “This is me and my fishing hat.I love this hat because it has been my one constant companion on the streams, lakes, rivers and ponds that I fish year-round.I have attached pictures of me, and my hat, fishing together in the Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. In these pictures we have caught browns, steelhead, land locked atlantic salmon. But together we have fought so much more. The hat is about 12 years old at this point,and someday may have to be retired. Not by me, mind you, but by the forces of entropy which will eventually claim us all.This is the last great Community Fly Fisher Hat (at least as far as I am aware). Once, a beautiful salmon fly was embroidered, and clearly visible on the front of this oiled, canvas, hat. Today, that pattern still exists, but is much fainter, while the oil in the canvas is certainly of a different variety than when it was new. None the less, I love this hat and the way it makes me look. Like a serious, skilled fisherman. While my rods, reels and lines, and even fishing cars, have changed over the past year, the hat has remained the same.” Michael, that hat is clearly something that only you could love, as well should be the case with any fishing hat.

Peggy Stevinson

9. Peggy Stevinson: “Here is a photo of me in my fishing hat. This is a tough sport for gals who are into fashion! I wear men’s (small) waders and boots and living in chilly Colorado am usually bundled up and look like the Michelin Man gone fishing. Luckily I have my white hat to distinguish me from the guys on the river. As a Program Leader for Casting for Recovery – Colorado, I have lots of pink annual retreat pins and pink flies to adorn it. It has a wide brim to keep the sun off my face and protect my ears from my sometimes wild casts. It brings me luck! I hope you like it as much as I do. Have fun with this contest, I am anxious to see the results!” Peggy, nobody is ever going to mistake you for a man, Michelin or otherwise, while wearing that hat. It’s really quite something to behold—wear it with pride and thanks for your leadership with CFR!

Lisa Brain, hat #1

Lisa Brain, hat #2

Lisa Brain, hat #3

10. Lisa Brain: “These really dont need any explanation but hat one is obviously a great hat since it brings in the “big” fish, the second just complements the farmers tan and what can I say about hat 3.” Lisa, as you know you don’t get extra credit for extra hats, but they are damn fine hats—all of them. What is this Tahuya thing? 😉

Kris Kerr

11. Kris Kerr: “This is me with my lucky fishing hat. It’s a Real Deal Brazil truck tarp hat. I first saw it on Woody Harrelson in the movie Zombieland. I said to myself that I had to have one. I liked the used look to it and each hat is unique in a way due to how they choose the tarp and cut patches etc. Plus I looked damn sexy in it! I didn’t get for fishing at first though. I have always used a baseball cap I have had forever when I go fishing because I considered it my all around lucky hat. Well some fucktard stole it in a burglary at my house last year. Left the tarp hat, took the used baseball hat, WTF! Anyway I digress. I took this hat fishing and it seemed to be the missing link in my fishing mojo. I started landing fish more and got my first steelhead on the fly in the picture I sent. I had been trying for almost 2 years to land a steelie on the fly, lot’s of hookups but no landings. Now a case could be made I caught more fish because I actually practiced casting before the season, learned to read the water better and matched the river bugs by doing some research. Nah, it’s the hat. P.S. Gotta give props to my friend Grant Richie for getting that hatchery hog. He owns the Minam Raft Rentals on the Wallowa River in Oregon. He let me tag along on a float down the Wallowa and Grande Ronde last month. Kris, that’s a damn fine pond monkey and you’re lucky to have such a damn fine hat because, as you suggested, a good hat trumps talent any day. Ask me how I know…

John Chaffee

12. John Chaffee: “My hat is awesome for many reasons. It was passed down to me from my late grandfather, so it had lots of good ju-ju before I ever put it on. It is tough, it has been sat on, stepped on, rescued from the river multiple times because of gust of wind and it keeps on rocking. It also is easily fixable, notice the piece of white duct tape. I think it makes me look distinguished. Hope that works for you guys.Thanks for making a cool contest.” I’m not sure if distinguished would be quite my first choice of words, John, but it is damn fine hat. It makes you look like Joe Willauer. Do you know Joe, by chance? You could be his doppelganger (or he yours). Except that now he has short hair and no beard, but last year…

Howard Levett

13. Howard Levett: “Well, here it is Kirk. The best I can do.” Anything more would have been uncharacteristic, Howard. Thank God you’re consistent.

Eric Boatman

14. Eric Boatman: “I have attached a photo of my entry into the No shortage of good Hats Contest. I wear this hat almost always when I got fishing. First it’s brown and tan and goes well with my both my Neoprene and my Breathable waders (looking good really matters out on the river).. Two it’s a trucker hat and I am a fairly large guy and usually have to walk/hike pretty far to get to the good fishing spots so the mesh on the back helps me to keep cool and not sweat too much. Third it has a Beaver on it. What man doesn’t love some good Beaver…? LOL anyway… I love this hat because it stays put on my head and brings me luck. Please consider me for your contest and I love reading your Blog!” Pulling out all stops with the beaver card, eh Eric? Well-played, sir 😉

Don Cranfill

15.Don Cranfill: “This hat has literally hundreds of miles paddling with me. It has fished all over the country and been through hell and back. When I got it, it was UV rated and waterproof. You can’t tell in the pic, but it is now threadbare and you can read a newspaper through the top. I have considered replacing it the last few years, but…I broke down and start shopping around this season. Maybe, just maybe, the fishing Gods will bestow upon me a replacement. Thanks for the great contest!” Don, I must say you build a strong case for winning this contest. In fact, maybe you will win. Then again, you ~~probably won’t~~ may not.

Derek Young

16. Derek Young: “You cannot argue that this is not your winner. My logic – 1) A smiling, pretty woman in a hat. 2) A smiling, pretty woman rowing the drift boat. Let everyone know the contest is already over…” Sir, do you really think that posting some random photo of a smokin’ hot hoochie mama in a hat in a drift boat will earn you any favors with the judges?

Cory Zurcher

17. Cory Zurcher: Great contest with great prizes. I too appreciate a great hat. I have attached a photo and a description, it is the first and only hat I have owned that had its own proper name and a story behind it. This hat (the go to hell hat) has traveled the world on my noggin it keeps me warm and dry it is oiled canvas with a fleece lining. But even better my great wife likes it, I can tell because she is smiling in the picture with me in the hat. The name is from a friend who asked, ‘does that hat get any strange looks?’, I said yes. His response, ‘I assume that you wear it then to say they can go to hell if they don’t like the way it looks.’ Thanks again for a great read.” Cory, you’re a lucky man to have a great wife that actually likes your Go To Hell Hat. It would be a damn shame if you told her to Go To Hell just because she didn’t like your hat.

Bud Alcock

18. Bud Alcock: “Here is my favourite and I DO wear it most of the time.” If I’m not mistaken, Bud, your hat looks like a Filson; the same hat worn by Gierach. I bet he called you to ask where you got your damn fine hat…

Brian Kozminski

19. Brian Kozminski: “My favorite hat. An Eddie Bauer felt classic fedora. It has kept me warm on colder days, dry in inclement weather and rather adds to my ego when the ladies say it looks like and Indiana Jones hat. I used to correct them and tell them it was felt, his was a leather fedora, but have since given up.” A fine lid indeed, Koz. I get a lot of women making similar comments about me when wearing my hat. No, wait. I lied.

Bob Triggs

20. Bob Triggs: “Olympic Peninsula fly fishing guide Bob Triggs. On the Puget Sound Saltchuck, fishing for sea-run Coastal Cutthroat trout.” Say, are you THE Bob Triggs—The Little Stone Fly Fisher? That’s a damn dapper looking cap and conjures up images of Ireland moreso than the OP.

Al Gustaveson

21. Al Gustaveson: “Min lilla fiskefarm (My Little Fishing Farm); Lat/Lon: 47˚36′ N 93˚30′ W; Elevation:1402;On the Northern Side of the Continental Divide” That’s a damn fine looking hat, Al. Befitting of the proprietor of Min lilla fiskefarm.

Aileen Ellis

22. Aileen Ellis: “My hat is so awesome, I can tie flies from it.” Wait, your name sounds familiar—are you somehow associated with www.mkflies.com ? And aren’t you that chick that stops to harvest road kill?

Rob Alderman

23. Rob Alderman: “Let me begin by apologizing for the long email…I just saw your great article online about fishing hats, and your contest. For your perusal, I’d like to submit my Simms Fly Fishing hat. Now, I have many more fishing hats, but this is the one I wear. I’ve had the hat for a couple of years, which I guess isn’t a long time, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t seen a lot of wear. The hat has seen water all throughout the United States, and has spent tons of time protecting me from the elements. I keep the “go to” flies I need on it, and they never change… BWO, Prince Nymph, Comparadun Sulpher, #10 Olive Wooly, and a Copper John. Most days, I just fish with what is on my hat. But what makes this hat so special? Well sir, it’s been through 4 tornados. Yes. You heard me right. FOUR tornados. What I mean, is that I actually was wearing this hat DURING three tornados WHILE ON FISHING TRIPS. Now, you may say, “This hat is cursed!” BUT NAY!!!! I say, “This hat is a secret weapon that not only lures trout to my line, but even keeps me safe from the harshest elements that Mother Nature can throw my way.” I mean, who knows what might have happened if I HADN’T had that hat on? We might not be having this conversation. Just sayin…Note – The hat was also on my head during the April 27th tornados in 2011, but I wasn’t fishing at that time.The Hat was on my head as I floated the South Holsten river in Bristol during two tornados on May 26, 2011.The hat was on my head as I fished the Hiwassee River near Charleston TN on March 2nd 2012. So, there you go. I may not win the contest, but i feel like this hat deserves to have it’s story told. Thank you for your consideration.” Wow, Rob, that’s an almost unbelieveable history your hat has. In fact there are probably countless folks who wouldn’t believe you. But I believe you. Really, I do. No—seriously.

Shelby Sim

24. Shelby Sim: “I love this hat…it’s comfortable, but sometimes my ears pop out from under it and I burn the tips 🙁 …not so great. But it’s my fave cuz it’s the only one I’ve got. Pushed my lucky hook clip off and on the brim a few too many times so it’s getting raggedy. That full brim hat looks comfy!! And shadey!! 🙂 ….pick me!! LOL!!” Well, OK, Shelby—since you begged, you win! Kidding. Maybe. Maybe not.

Adam Augustine, Summer hat

Adam Augustine, Winter hat

25. Adam Austine: “Dear Unaccomplished angler, My name is Adam Augustine and I live in Fort Collins, CO. I just saw your no shortage of good hats contest and thought it was brilliant. I have two hats that I go between mainly, since I live in fort collins I have a winter and a summer hat. My summer hat is a Salt Institute hat given to my by a good friend who works for the city of fort collins. My winter hat is an old stocking cap I found in a hat bin at my parents house. There is a winter park hat that holds a special place in my heart. My mother passed away in 2008 while I was working at Winter Park Resort so I have a good connection while I’m out fishing when I where that hat. Plus I caught that frog on a pike fly…. not bad! I hope you enjoy the pictures. I made sure to pick the good ones. Thank you, Adam” Adamn fine couple of hats you got there, Adam. But let us not overlook the sunglasses in the first photo—if this were a sunglass contest you would walk away the winner.

Dean Claus

26. Dean Claus: “I live in Longmont, Colorado and consider the waters of the northern front range home territory. My favorite fishing hat and I have shared many adventures. The bond we developed over the years is such that I don’t even own another fishing hat. My hat and I have been together since the late 1980s. If my memory is correct, I purchased it in Georgetown, Colorado for about $16. It was made by the Henschel Hat Company. According to their website they still make the model I wear. It is an Aussie Brown from their Leather Walker Collection.There was I time when I had another hat that I bought from Cabelas. But that one left me to find a new owner when I went for an unexpected dip in a local trout stream. My current Henschel hat is of finer character. With its draw cord it has always been faithful and stuck with me even when I lost my footing and drifted downstream without a raft. Additionally, with its wide brim it has protected me from the sun, the rain, nasty willow branches, and possible “ear flossings.” I cannot imagine a better, more loyal fishing hat. Another benefit of wearing this hat is, it covers my baldness and helps me to look like the dashing outdoors-man that I am. With my hat on my head I could stand next to Teddy Roosevelt and not feel out of place. I believe that a fly fisherman should look like a gentleman adventurer, not a manikin from the REI store. And, my Henschel Aussie Brown does the trick for me. If I outlive my Henschel Aussie Brown, I suppose I would try to find another hat that shares its qualities. Any fishing hat for me must be loyal, able to protect me from the sun, rain, rogue branches, out of control casts, and it needs to make me look like a the Indiana Jones of the angling world.” Dean, if I were you I wouldn’t plan on outliving that hat of yours—it looks like it’s built to stand the test of time. Not that you don’t appear well-suited to live another 120 years or so, but that hat is rugged.

Jeff Holberg

27. Jeff Holberg: “I didn’t pick this hat, it picked me. Early on, I spent a lot of time searching for the perfect hat… a Lefty Kreh up-downer that abandoned ship when I capsized on the Brazos River, a fluorescent lime green one that disappeared mysteriously, even a Filson Packer like the one Gierach uses to distinguish himself from the the homeless. None worked for me. No, this hat, given to me by the owner of the sadly now defunct Austin Angler, hitched a ride on a long ago trip to Montana and and stayed, ingraining itself into my being.I always thought sticking used flies onto a hat was lame, but it seems My Hat yearned for adornment. However My Hat is selective when it comes to which flies it keeps. While flies I like are promptly flung off to the great unknown, it appears My Hat has a thing for Bead-head nymphs. Fortunately My Hat has a penchant for keeping some: the Chernobyl Ant responsible for a butterball 20″ trout, the only fish from a long hot day on the Yellowstone, the Damsel Fly that out of season, provided a 50+ fish day, the yellow bream bug that hooked a 4 pound Largemouth; as a chronicle of good times. My Hat was never a looker, but hell, neither am I. Time, sun, and sweat have given us both a patina reflecting lives well misspent.” I get what you’re saying about the hat picking you, Jeff. In that regard, hats are like dogs. They’re also like dogs because over time they begin to smell. However, unlike dogs, hats should never be washed.

Ryan Rahmiller

28. Ryan Rahmiller: After 3 trips/ 8 days of being steelhead-less, I changed up my mojo with this stunning /lucky stocking hat. 2 hours later, 2 steelies to my name. Now I’ll never be Great Lakes steelheading without it. Pretty sure it’s the manly pom that sets it apart. It’s a fine looking hat, Ryan, and without question it seems to have good mojo. If you’re at all like me with regard to superstitions, you’ll not want to go fishing without that hat, ever. To that end, please send another photo in late July.

Jason Tucker

29. Jason Tucker: My hat will probably be the ugliest entered in your contest, reason enough to allow me to win. There is one reason I wear it- sheer utility. I bought this while on vacation in the Dominican Republic. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but rum can be a mean trickster. This hat has several things going for it none of which are cosmetic.

a. The broad brim helps keep the sun off of me and my sunglasses, protecting my delicate complexion and allowing me to see the fish that are refusing to bite.

b. Mosquitoes and deer flies can’t seem to figure this thing out. The floppy brim works like a set of elephant ears, fanning mosquitoes away. Deer flies are stupidly programmed to attack from above and don’t seem to understand that if they just flew under the brim they could make me feel like someone is using a dull paper punch on my neck.

c. It has a really cool strap. This is the only thing that makes the hat look cool- when I let it hang down behind me by the strap. Once I place the hat back on my head all coolness evaporates.

d. Even I have been unable to destroy or lose it. This speaks volumes about its value as a fishing hat.

I humbly submit my entry. JT, don’t be too quick to assume that your hat is the ugliest, or even ugly at all. Remember—beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or the in the eye of the person judging the beholder.

Andrew Roth, Hat #1

Andrew Roth, Hat #2

Andrew Roth, Hat #3

Andrew Roth, Hat #4

Andrew Roth, Hat #5

30. Andrew Roth: “First and foremost thanks for the Blog(suck-up move that every blogger extends to one another early in the communication)Your whit is off the chart, and I read a few all of your posts that come across my inbox. I have worn hats all of my life. This may account for my twisted personality disorder and intermittent brain function. I can directly trace most of my neurological problem to the constant wearing of hats. Excessive heat build-up, hat band blood vessel constriction etc. The other possibility is the fact that I am a trout guide with a botany degree. The extensive testing of wrongly Identified herbaceous plants, fungi and tree bark may have some effect as well, but I digress.I am in this contest to win it, I must say though there is a special attraction to the PBR hat. Growing up in the late 60’s, 70′, 80’s, 90’s 00’s,,,,,OK, OK I am a trout guide and have not grown up yet. Anyhow, growing up in Milwaukee when the city was the “Beer Capital Of the World” still means the world to me. Many brands were King but Pabst Blue Ribbon was my Fathers brand. They say that we are products of our environment and I know they are right. My father was a smart, tough, hard working middle America tradesmen. He worked hard and played hard. He always got up for work the next morning.Tending to run with a younger crowd these days I am constantly astounded by selections from the craft beer market. Quite frankly it is both confusing and frightening. The artwork on the labels is fantastic but I’m never sure of what is in the bottle. With names like Zombie Dust, Dead Guy Ale, Ruthless Rye and Darkness I am sure I am going straight to Hell(oh, thats another one). Most of the time I do end up feeling like hell considering the hang over that follows a cooler full of beers ranging from 7.5 to 11.9% alcohol content. Consequently I mostly go old school and show up with a 6-pac of 16 oz. PBR’s. I know what’s in the can. With a slogan like “Natures choicest products provide its prized flavor” it would seem like I would surely survive a night of drinking it. History says a bunch of guys showed up in 1893 to drink a bunch of beer, and this one got the blue ribbon. Sorry, I just realized that beer may have something to do with my problem. Maybe it was the rugby. A solid plug for Pabst anyhow. Hats yes hats! Here are a couple of photos that were taken of me. They are embarrassing and would tarnish my Linked-In reputation if they ever got onto social media my favorites, you choose.” Well, Andrew, you certainly are a man of many hats: some cool, some whimsical, and one in particular just a bit disturbing. I appreciate your generous offer to join you for some Wisconsin angling, but after seeing the photo of Hat #4 I think I may have to pass. However, if anyone else wants to spend a day with you I’ll post your website here: www.graygoatflyfishing.com

Mark Kelly

31. Mark Kelly: “This is my “handicap” fishing hat. It was awarded by my fishing buddies. You are supposed to wear it fishing & other fishing club functions until it is awarded to the next “lucky” angler. Interestingly it is up to the owners discretion as to which criteria (if any) they should apply to award the hat…” Unfortunately, Mark, you did not identify which of the gentleman in the photo is you, so we can only speculate. Left side, in the camo hat, correct?

Art Kaemmer

32. Art Kaemmer: Worn only by the proud, the few: members if the Hoover Institute for Piscatorial Excellence (HIPE). A hat reserved for only a very elite group, eh Art? Only the few, the proud— can get away with wearing a pink hat.

Freddy Clayton

33. Freddy Clayton: Dear Mr. Angler, I have attached a photo of my awesomely spectacular fishing hat and me. The picture was taken on the last day of a 5-day kayak and fishing excursion a friend and I took in the backcountry of the Everglades in January 2013. My hat is spectacularly awesome not (sadly) because I look so dang good in it, but rather because it makes me look as if I catch fish. I love to fly fish, and most of my efforts occur around Florida, hunting in-shore saltwater prey – primarily redfish, snook, and sea trout. I am notorious among my friends for two elements of my interest: my obsession with fly fishing, and my consistent lack of success. My hat, however, is so fishy-looking that folks who see me flailing with my fly rod presume, with no justification, that I must know what I am doing. Additionally, I have attached to the hat a roseate spoonbill feather. I received the feather as a prize for catching the largest snook among eight of us who fished in the Everglades for four days three years ago. Our adventure occurred immediately after a major freeze that killed tens of thousands of fish, depleting the snook population drastically; it has not recovered yet. Because of the paucity of fish, however, I was able to win the largest-snook contest with a puny, 17-inch juvenile. It was the only snook anyone caught. So my hat not only creates the misimpression that I am a competent fly fisherman, but it also displays the only fishing award I will ever receive absent divine intervention.

I love your blog. I found on your site a kindred spirit. I love to fly fish, I do so as inexpensively as possible, and I fish often without much success (at least as measured by the fish I land). I also do not go to remote, exotic locations or have trophy fish to describe. I do almost all my fishing from my kayak, and I often fish alone. One of the blessings I enjoy is living in Florida, so I can fish in the flats and shallow lagoons on our coasts, especially the Everglades in Southwest Florida and the Mosquito Lagoon area in eastern Florida. I have spent hundreds of hours sight-casting to fish in those areas as well as blind casting to fishy-looking spots; my inability to hook and catch my targets is remarkably consistent. The failure to land fish, however, does not detract substantially from the joy I get from the activity. I love being on the water, constantly trying to improve and refine my casts, and determining where the fish are likely to be. It is always a glorious experience. And I have become a very avid tie flier; catching the occasional fish on a fly I have tied is a special treat. As with my fishing, however, my tying is not very skilled, but it sure is fun.

I have ordered your three books for my next-door neighbor’s son, who needs an early introduction to the ineffable joy of fly fishing. And I can’t wait for one of our sons to give us a grandchild – we’ll be ordering more books and showing them that fly fishing is one of life’s great pleasures. Well done, Freddy—now you are showing everyone else how to suck-up to the judges, sir! Oh, and thank you.

Ross Slayton

34. Ross Slayton: No big if’n I dont win, but I do like sharing off the way my hat and ‘stache compliment and camoflage my ugly mug. Ross, if I could grow handlebars like yours I might be able to get away with wearing a hat like yours as well. Unfortunately, I am capable of neither.