Unaccomplished Angler

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20 Questions: Chris Hunt, Eat More Brook Trout

November 29, 2011 / / 20 Comments

Chris Hunt prepares to eat a Brookie

Paying homage to the man who originated the “20 Questions”series, we are gathered here today to boost the Google Analytics of the Unaccomplished Angler learn a bit more about Chris Hunt: the man, the myth, and the proprietor of the Eat More Brook Trout blog. In his spare time Chris also just happens to be the National Communications Director for Trout Unlimited. The biggest difference between what Chris does with his “20 Questions” series on his site and what you’ll see here today, is that Chris only publishes 20 of the questions he sends out to those he deems worthy can bribe to participate in his interview series. Conversely, I’m dishing all 30 questions. This may result in me falling out of favor with Chris, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take to bring you the Full Meal Deal. Enjoy.

Chris Hunt is a former newspaper journalist who escaped the trade just before it imploded. He went to work saving the world, one trout at a time, for a well-known conservation organization (whose letters are TU–ed.). He does some freelance writing on the side, has penned a couple of books and lives in Idaho Falls with his wife, two kids and two unruly mutts.

Chris’ passion is fly fishing and he’s very evangelical about the need to protect wild country in order to protect sporting opportunity. He’s had the good fortune to fish all over North America from Alaska and Canada, to the tip of Baja and nearly everywhere in between. The mountains and the trout they shelter are his first love, but if a year passes without being able to dip his toes in the ocean, withdrawals set in.

His claims to fly fishing fame? He caught a northern pike on a Tenkara rod; he caught a migrating lake trout on a Tenkara rod. And he caught a muskie on his third cast (and has a witness!). Over the years, his writing has appeared in numerous magazines, newspapers and websites, including the New York Times and Field & Stream. He blogs somewhat regularly at eatmorebrooktrout.com.

Without further ado, let’s throw Chris Hunt to the lions:

 1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
My head in the Rockies, my feet in the salt and a feeding fish within casting range.

2. What is your greatest fear?
Oddly enough, drowning. I became an excellent swimmer to ward this one off.

Mark Twain was a Tenkara man.

3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Mark Twain. Honest. Concise. And just a little bit full of himself.

4. Which living person do you most admire?
Cecil Andrus. Idaho’s favorite son, and a guy who’ll tell you like it is, even if you don’t want to hear it.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I’m a closet narcissist, if such a thing exists.

6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Hypocrisy, and the willingness to use it for political gain.

7. What is your favorite journey?
This is a tough one for me, because, at the time, it was easily our most difficult journey. We once drove from Eureka, Calif., to Colorado and back to see family for the Holidays. Our Land Cruiser died. Our 3-month-old daughter did nothing but scream during a treacherous blizzard in northeast Utah. I became the owner of a mini-van. We got into a real trailer-park bust-up at a Motel 6 in Wendover, Nev., (dogs included). And I think I grew up. Finally. I look back on that journey all those years ago now and think, “If we can do that, we can do anything.”

Lake Trout caught without a reel.

8. On what occasion do you lie?
I did not fart.  And I did not play Dungeons and Dragons when I was a kid.

9. Which living person do you most despise?
If I told you, the Wiccan curse I paid good money to have put on that rat bastard won’t work.

10. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
There are two. The first is, “What up, yo?” My son came home from school one day and laid this one on us. I’ve used it ever since. The other is “What are you wearing?” I usually save that one for answering the phone.

11. What is your greatest regret?
Quitting football after the ninth grade. I think I’d have made a hell of tight end in the NFL … but, on the flip side, I can walk, have both my original knees and I’ve learned to double haul. Life’s good… regrets probably come with baggage.

12. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The cliché thing here is to say my family. Clichés are clichés for a reason. My family. The country-fried steak and eggs Trucker’s Breakfast at the Ranch Hand in Montpelier, Idaho, is a close second, though.

13. Which talent would you most like to have?
It’s funny… I’ve been asking these questions to other folks now for months, and I’ve never really thought about this one. I’d love to be able to fly, but I’d feel compelled to wear a cape and save kittens from trees. And I’m a dog person. This will surprise some folks, but I’d love to be able to carry a tune. I just can’t, and I think it’s very limiting.

14. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I’ve been lucky professionally. As a journalist, I won lots of awards for my work, and I always took great pride in that. But I think what I’m most proud of was having the late, great Charlie Meyers, the best outdoor writer ever to grace the pages of a newspaper, review my book and praise it. Charlie was a great man of many talents and he lived a life of adventure. For him to take the time to read my book and then tell others how much he liked it meant the world to me.

15. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
Again… I’ve never given this much thought. When I was a kid, I was enamored by dolphins. In my 20s, I wanted to be Bourbon Street strip club owner (don’t judge… I like boobies*). Now, at 42, I think I’d like to be a vagabond fly fisher wandering the beaches and flats of the Yucatan.*No judgement here, just agreement–ed.
http://youtu.be/_qd6dOvh0oQ
16. What is your most treasured possession?
My grandfather’s bamboo fly rod. My uncle gave it to me a year or so after my grandfather died. One of these days, I’ll have it restored. For now, though, it’s comforting to look at the old aluminum tube in the corner of the fly tying room and remember the feeling of the old man standing over my shoulder while I cast to rising brook trout.

17. Where would you like to live?
Craig, Alaska, from July through September. Then … maybe South Padre until, say, January. Then New Orleans through May. I’d spend June in Stony Rapids, Saskatchewan. But here, just a stone’s throw from the Yellowstone Caldera, isn’t too shabby.

18. Who are your favorite writers?
Robert Jordan, Mark Twain, Aldo Leopold. Jim Babb (if you’ve never read River Music, you’re missing the best fly fishing ever written), Tom McGuane. I used to put Geirach on the list, and probably still should for old time’s sake. I just think … I’ve outgrown the introspective fly fishing essay (and, in case you haven’t, get your copy of the ultimate collection of introspective fly fishing essays here!).

19. Who are your heroes?
My grandfather, Bill Muller, who slogged through hell during World War II in the Pacific. Theodore Roosevelt, for recognizing the need to keep our country’s natural resources intact. And Howard Zahniser, the author of the Wilderness Act of 1964. Each of these men saved the world, as I know it.

20. How would you like to die?
Jeez, you’re damn nosey, aren’t you Kirk? I mean, these questions are really personal. Let’s see… again, very little thought to this one. I’d love to die on the river, but then I would probably drown, and I don’t want to drown. I do hope the good Lord takes me quickly and after a great day of fishing. And maybe he’ll come collect me from an Irish pub after one last taste of Jameson.

Hey, so the man likes Lady Ga Ga. Don't judge.

21. What’s on your iPod?
Sadly, I don’t really have one. I’m a satellite radio guy. But… if I did load an iPod full of tunes, it would include a lot of Jimmy Buffett, a little Lyle Lovett, country when country was a lot more raw (I mean, “Holes in the Floor of Heaven?” “Christmas Shoes?” Where have all the real country singers gone? This blatant pandering to the blubbering masses makes me want to puke). I guess I’d have some Toby Keith on there—or at least his song, “I’ll Never Smoke Weed with Willy Again.” I’m diggin’ Mumford and Sons. The Clumsy Lovers make the cut for sure. And Lady GaGa. Seriously.

22. What’s the title of your autobiography?
Oh, that’s easy. “20 Questions.”

23. If you were a pet dog, what would your name be?
Bronco.

A math under-achiever.

24. If there’s a Heaven, and you’re lucky enough to make the cut, what would you like to hear God say to you upon arrival?
“Look at you. You’re proof that you can live a long and happy life with just a C-minus in college algebra.”

25. What was the most significant moment in your life?
There are two. The first was when my daughter was yanked from the guts of my wife during an emergency C-section. Nothing prepares you for the love you feel for this tiny person you’ve only just met. The second was when my son emerged in roughly the same fashion. He pissed on the doctor and the nurses and he’s been making people laugh ever since.

26. What’s your favorite film?
Silverado. Best. Movie. Ever.

27. Where would you want your loved ones to spread your ashes?
I’m sending those greedy little shits on a wild goose chase. They can leave a bit on the banks of the Crystal River above the town of Marble, Colo.; they can sprinkle a bit in the South Fork and the Henry’s Fork. A handful will have to go along the banks of a little creek on Prince of Wales Island, whose name I will reveal in my will, and not a second sooner. Some will go to the grayling in the Grease River before it enters Lake Athabasca. A little bit will have to go to the upper Gibbon River. And the last of it can go in the garden under the cilantro and the garlic chives.

Chicks dig the 1980 Corolla.

28. What’s your favorite car of all the cars you’ve owned?
We had a 1985 Toyota Land Cruiser that got to know the central Colorado mining roads pretty well. And I’ve loved my Dodge Dakotas over the last 10 years or so. But I’ll have to go with a 1980 Toyota Corolla. Craven yellow. Mabye two oil changes in five years. It bore a dent from my then-girlfriend’s step-father who backed into it with his truck one morning, not realizing that I was, ahem, sleeping over. It took me all over the country and I loved it to death.

29. What word do you have to look up in order to know you spelled it correctly?
Knowlege. Or is it knowledge? Oye.

30. Who’s your favorite cartoon character?
Jessica Rabbit. Hubba hubba.

Jessica Rabbit, eh? Whatever you say, Chris...

 

 

 

There’s no excuse for fishing without a reel

November 23, 2011 /

Tenkara.

I don’t pretend to know much about it, but for those who know even less, allow me to offer forth a nutshell description: Tenkara is a form of Japanese fly angling developed centuries ago, using a long rod, a section of line, and a fly.

What Tenkara does not use is a reel, and it’s easy to understand why: reels probably weren’t invented at the time early Tenkara came to be. And the art hasn’t evolved much since then, save for modern, telescoping graphite that has superseded the original bamboo rods; and monofilament or fluorocarbon that has replaced the original woven horsehair lines.

As our world grows more technologically sophisticated and dependent on gadgetry, many people long for simpler times, harkening romantically back to the good old days before electricity, life-saving vaccinations and fishing reels. Because of this, Tenkara has enjoyed a resurgence, or perhaps more accurately it has gained a certain following in the Western world in recent years. Tenkara USA is an authority on the matter, so if you’re interested I recommend you check them out. Don’t come here looking for any helpful information because I know nothing about it other than what I’ve read. I’ve never seen a Tenkara rod, nor have I observed a Tenkara angler in action. It’s all Greek (or, Japanese) to me, but here are a couple of Tenkara videos to help you familiarize yourself.

So why, you may be asking, am I even taking the time to discuss Tenkara here? Well, it all came about innocently enough. A while ago I commented over at the Lunker Hunt blog. The blog topic was These People are Liars, and the discussion dealt with the reasons why people fish. It was stated, in the first sentence, “From time to time, I hear people say they don’t fish to catch fish. They’re out there soaking up the sun, unwinding, enjoying scenery, building friendships, exercise…that sort of thing. Catching fish is unimportant to these people and I’m here to tell you these people are liars.” Essentially I agreed, by leaving the following comment:

I’m not saying I don’t agree with you, but when you come out west and fish for native winter steelhead, you’ll come to realize that not everyone fishes to catch fish, because these are mythical creatures akin to Bigfoot and unicorns. It’s the love of standing in a cold river while rain beats you into submission and you get better at casting. But yeah, I call B.S. too.

Still, nothing about Tenkara. But then my comment was responded to by none other than Troutrageous! himself:

Kirk…you folks out West need tenkara rods. A most excellent tool especially devised for catching Bigfeet & unicorns.

To which I replied:

I am not opposed to Tenkara specifically, but I am opposed to fishing without a reel. Once I took an afternoon off work and drove a fair distance to fish in seclusion on a beautiful afternoon, only to gear up and realize I’d left my reel at home. Never again.

That was not some sort of conscience-cleansing statement intended to reduce a certain burden of guilt I’d been carrying around with me for a long time. On the contrary, I outed myself publicly after said incident of slack-minded stupidity here. Furthermore, on a steelhead trip last winter with my son, Schpanky, the Unaccomplished Angler left behind not one, but two reels. I came clean about that, here.

So you see, I don’t attempt to hide my imperfections (it would take a warehouse to store them all). As a matter of fact, the Unaccomplished Angler is more than willing to profess his many shortcomings (after all, if I run for public office it’s all going to be dredged up anyway). And there’s another benefit to admitting when one does something insanely stupid–it affords one the perfect excuse for not catching fish: “Hey, I didn’t have a reel!”

And that is why I am not likely to take up the way of Tenkara anytime soon. If I were to be stripped of all but a rod and line (and my clothes–I’m not giving up those, either), there would be little to blame for my angling unaccomplishments other than lack of skill. With Tenkara, it’s just you and a rod and some line waging battle against the fish.

I don’t like those kinds of odds.

Disclaimer: I have every reason to trust Aileen Nishimura of MK Flies that the Japanese characters used above actually mean Tenkara (“in the heavens”) and not something socially inappropriate. I recommend you check out Aileen’s fly tying artistry.

Elk Hunting: Part III of definitely III

November 16, 2011 / / 10 Comments

I wouldn’t call it sleeping in, but we didn’t get up as early as the previous day because we didn’t need to rendezvous with Jawn’s dad on this second morning of the hunt. Having successfully filled his tag the day before, Jawn’s dad was doing what any smart man would do on a Sunday when the rain continued to fall: he was not getting up at 3:30AM.

As we drove into the hills above Kendrick we accepted the fact that it was going to be another wet morning, but we hoped that unlike the previous day, it wouldn’t be foggy. And then we ascended into a fog bank so thick that we couldn’t have seen a white fogline on the right side of the road even if there had been one. Jawn moved his foot from the gas pedal to the brakes and we slowed to a crawl, meandering up the twisting road toward the ranch. With our hopes of a fogless morning dashed, we parked and napped for an hour or so as rain pelted the roof of the truck. When the sun came up the sky lightened enough to make out shapes in the dim light of dawn, we pulled on our jackets and faced the inevitable fact that we were going to get wet, again. I knew that my boots, which had dried out overnight, would not resist the moisture for long; my rain pants, ventilated from having waged battle with the rose hips and Idaho Mesquite from the day before, didn’t stand much of a chance as a waterproof barrier.

Suck it up. Proceed. Complain silently.

Not too long into the morning we hiked the ridge above a stand of timber, and in much the same fashion as the day before, Jawn’s eagle eye picked out a heard of elk bedded down in the timber a couple of hundred yards below us. His keen vision picked out a spike bull that I shortly thereafter determined to be a spike bull with a few extra branches: a 5 point…

But first let’s jump ahead a few hours to the drama of afternoon. The rain had subsided and the clouds lifted, making for an overcast but not unpleasant day. Micro, Jawn and I hopped on the quad so that we could cover ground more efficiently as we sought a particularly remote corner of the ranch to scout for elk. There was a very good chance that the remnants of the herd that had scattered earlier in the morning may have high-tailed it to this area. We held out hope for another shot. Another elk. With Micro and Jawn comfortably enjoying the padded seat of the Polaris, yours truly was perched on the front rack, the steel bars of which conflicted with my boney arse as we bounced along a “road” through the woods. I’m not convinced that being seated up front and therefore able to anticipate every bone-jarring bump before we came upon it did me any good or not. I’m thinking ignorance may have been bliss as I acknowledged my fate several times, “This is going to hurt”. It was a relief when we reached our destination and set off on foot. Even on legs weary from having hiked many miles already, walking was a welcome change.

"That's not an elk, is it?" "No."

There are no elk in this photo.

The country surrounding us was thick with brush, and  looked like a great hideout for a herd of elk on the lamb. For several hours we walked and stopped. We checked natural watering holes, glassed hillsides, and peered into steep draws that pointed downward toward one thing: that damn river. The Potlach River, named for a Native American ceremonious feast. When the wind silenced itself, one could make out the whisper of the river. It called out to me, tauntingly. What are you doing up there with a rifle, you silly man? I’m sure that Micro and Jawn heard nothing but the voice came to me again. You ought be down here with a fly rod, for I have many fish eager to accept your imitation bugs. I tried to block out the voice and concentrated on looking for elk, but the river was unrelenting and hurled one last insult. You know, there may even be steelhead in my waters. We didn’t see an elk all afternoon, and in fact the ranch seemed strangely devoid of any animal activity save for the raucous celebration of the crows that had found the gut pile from the day before. And a distant voice from below that seemed to be laughing.

The river taunts...

Jumping back in time a few hours to the morning. The bull was bedded down with his body at a angle to us such that it didn’t present the perfect shot. No problem, as rarely do game animals present the perfect shot. I took my time and rested the forestock of my rifle on a rock ledge, giving me a nearly perfect, steady rest. Looking through the scope at 9x power, I could count the tines on the bull. He wasn’t any sort of Boone & Crockett record, but I was neither Daniel Boone nor Davey Crockett. I dialed the scope down to 3X and the bull became smaller, but not too small: he was only about 200 yards away. Steelhead. As I lay the cross hairs toward the right side of his body, between his shoulder blades, I took a deep breath. Come ply  my waters. I exhaled slowly. There are many naïve trouts for you down here. All tension left my body. Visions of fruitless elk hunts past flashed before me. Not many anglers take the time to fish my waters. I was calm, collected. There would be meat in the freezer this winter, and a handsome rack above the fireplace mantle. I was steady as the rock upon which rested my trusty 7mm Magnum. At the same time my index finger pulled against the trigger, a Potlach River steelhead rolled before my eyes, taking a skated October Caddis before running downstream toward the Clearwater River…

My shot flew an inch too wide to the right. The bull, and the rest of the herd, was gone.

And I finally know what Norman MacLean meant when he wrote, “I am taunted haunted by waters.”

 

 

Part I

Part II

Let's send the oldest guy in to do the hard work.

Elk Hunting: Part II of II or maybe III

November 9, 2011 / / 8 Comments

We pick up where we left off with Part I: The rain had tapered off and the fog was lifting, allowing us at least the hope of being able to see any elk that might be bedded down or just hanging out in the distance. We devised a plan whereby Jawn, Micro and I would make the easy hike to the edge of a bluff overlooking a stand of timber below the wheat field, which was below the stand of timber below the bluff where, thanks to fog, nothing had been seen that morning. No shortage of bluffs and timber stands here. Once we were in position, Jawn’s dad would be walking the course of well-worn game trail far below us, pushing through the thick brushy draw. It made sense to have a guy who’s almost 80 do the hard work while we young middle-aged men sat and waited. So as not to rile the AARP it should be noted that Jawn’s dad could very likely out-hike any one of us, so he was the right man for the job. Any elk he kicked out would run directly below our location. With our keen eyesight the aid of binoculars we’d see them and have plenty of time to set up for an accurate shot.

Let's send the oldest guy in to do the hard work.

Once we were in position, Jawn’s eagle eye picked out a small group of elk casually going about their day in the timber. In clear view was the body of a large animal that would eventually reveal itself to be a cow and a couple of other smaller animals, though not an antler amongst the bunch. Jawn radioed to his dad, “We have elk. Stop.” Then he turned to me and asked, “Want to shoot a cow?” Apparently the guy with the out-of-state tag got first right of refusal, or acceptance. I decided that while I am certainly no trophy hunter, I wanted to wait until we hopefully saw a bull. I harkened back to Mrs. UA’s parting words as I left for the weekend hunt, “I’d really like you to bring home some antlers for the fireplace mantle!”  Micro echoed my sentiments just as a shot rang out below. Followed by a few more shots. Maybe as many as 7, or 8. That was either a good thing, meaning an elk was good and dead, or no elk was dead and hope shots were being fired in desperation. After the barrage of shooting subsided the two-way radio crackled with news that Jawn’s dad had one down. Jawn’s dad must have known that neither Micro nor I had wanted to shoot a cow. Then again he is the landowner, so he can do whatever he wants.

The three of us descended the steep slope, complaining about our knees the whole way, until we met up with Jawn’s dad. We admired his harvest: it was a big cow (elk, to be sure). She was dead, and amazingly not riddled with multiple bullets. We weren’t sure what the additional shooting had been all about.  Jawn’s dad didn’t wait around to explain, as he quickly headed downhill toward what was apparently some sort of road. He’d hike back to the ranch and return with a tractor to make the job of hauling the big cow out of the woods a bit easier. Jawn, Micro and myself were tasked with getting the animal down to the road. Shouldn’t be too hard, after all it was downhill and only a hundred yards or maybe a bit more. It would feel like “a bit more” by the time we completed the task.

What a drag.

Once the cow was field dressed, rather than quartering her out we decided to leave the hide on and drag her by her hind legs. Being that it was down hill the entire way, gravity would do the bulk of the work. It would be like dragging a sled. The only problem was that the cow was nothing like a sled, and we had logs and trees and slippery rocks and mud (it had been raining, you know) that made footing precarious at times. At one point we looked around and couldn’t see Micro, who had disappeared backwards into the brush. Between the intermittent clapping of his hands, Micro’s voice rang out, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Clap on, clap off...The Clapper

If the terrain wasn’t challenging enough, there were thickets of the nastiest, rain-gear and flesh-shredding-vegetation that grabbed hold of anything possible and threatened to poke an eye out if one weren’t careful. A kevlar body suit, helmet and safety goggles would have come in handy.

Rose hips, every hunter's friend.

Whatever it is, I call this stuff "Idaho Mesquite"

Finally, soaked from the inside out from sweat and from the outside in from rain-soaked brush, and bleeding from superficial wounds, we emerged onto the road which was really little more than a two-track depression through the brush. With the cow out of the woods, Micro and I headed back uphill from whence we came to retrieve guns and packs. Following the fresh skid trail was easy and revealed that we really hadn’t traveled a great distance at all. But dragging a 450 lb animal (field dressed) had added what seemed like miles to the task. During the ascent I was motivated by the promise of the hydration bladder in my pack which was full of fresh water. Unfortunately the musky taste served as a reminder: when you loan your pack to your son for a summer hike, remember to have him drain, rinse and dry the water bladder before putting the pack into storage. I’d rather have rung the water out of my socks into my mouth than consume the foul contents of my pack bladder. Oh well, there was a cooler of water and beer back at the truck, which would be available for consumption within an hour and a half. Jawn’s dad arrived with the tractor and we loaded the elk into the front bucket for the trip back uphill to the ranch. From our location we were within earshot of the river, and it called to out me. But I was not here to be distracted by a watery temptress. My legs were tired and I opted to save my energy for the hike out, rather than making a side trip down to look at a river I couldn’t fish.

A convenient way to pack out an elk.

We spent the remainder of the day at the Wilson’s enjoying the company of Bill, Darlene and Alvin. These local folks have quite the meat cutting setup on their property: they used to butcher hogs on their farm so they made short work of single elk. I did get to run the electric bone saw for a spell, but mostly I stood around feeling worthless and wishing I had a video camera as I tried not to laugh out loud as the Wilsons bickered between themselves about where to cut and how to do this and “hand me that damn knife I’ll do it myself!”. At one point I took a couple of steps backward to make room should Alvin and his mother  come to blows, which thankfully they did not. I couldn’t help but see the potential for a reality show.

Hanging meat with the Wilsons

At the end of the day we had an elk hung and cooling and I captured my finest-ever photo of a cow (not an elk, but the slow variety). Not bad for a day’s work, though I still hadn’t pulled the trigger. That opportunity would come the next day.

Best cow photo ever.

Part III

Matt Heron, Accomplished Angler

November 9, 2011 / / 7 Comments

 

One thing you’ll never see posted on this website is a video like this.

Matt Heron Reels in a Gigantic Brown Trout from Filmed In Tahoe on Vimeo.

Let me rephrase that: One thing you’ll never see posted on this website is a video like this, of the Unaccomplished Angler.

This amazing 30 inch brown was caught near Lake Tahoe by Matt Heron of Matt Heron Fly Fishing. If I’m ever in the Lake Tahoe area you can bet I’m going to hook up with Matt and request that he take me to this river and show me where this fish lives. I won’t catch it, so there won’t be any video, which is why you should watch this one.

 

 

Elk Hunting: Part I of II or maybe III

November 7, 2011 / / 10 Comments

A few weeks back I ventured to the great state of Idaho seeking to harvest an elk to feed my family this winter (I talked about my pre-trip thoughts here in the event that you ignored missed it). My quest for meat began with a cross-state drive to Lewiston, Idaho where my buddy Jawn lives. From my home it’s a little more than 5 hours, which used to seem like a long drive. Several fishing trips to Montana will put things into perspective, and the drive to Lewiston is now considered child’s play.

I stopped at the edge of the Palouse, which happens to be at the top of the Lewiston grade, to take in the views. From this vantage point one can see the entire Lewiston/Clarkston valley  2,000 feet below, and the great confluence of the Clearwater and Snake Rivers and beyond. The two rivers are more like lakes than the free-flowing rivers that Lewis and Clark would have encountered when they passed through the area in 1805. Dams and two hundred years of development will do that to a place, I reckon. Still, it’s a beautiful area, though it could be made even more beautiful if a few dams were torn down.

I was careful not to get too close to the edge of the decaying scenic overlook that the state of Idaho doesn’t seem to be overly concerned with. As it turns out, Idahoans believe that if you’re not smart enough to stay away from the edge then you probably deserve to fall off. Culling the herd, as it were. We need more common sense policies like that. Idaho for President in 2012!

Anyhoo, back to the matter of hunting elk. Jawn has birthright access to private land in the hills of Idaho, the closest town being Kendrick (population: not very big). He’d been out scouting previously and had seen animals. Elk, even, which is always a good thing when going elk hunting. The property we were hunting has the stuff on which elk require to thrive (and disappear): forested land. And plenty of it, like a coupla thousand acres. There’s access to plenty of water thanks to a particular river, so it’s no surprise that elk should do well here. We’d be hunting in a GMU with a special season where any elk could be harvested. Slam dunk, right? Meat in the bank, as it were.

I had hunted on this ranch long enough ago that I didn’t remember the lay of the land. That was back before there was an internet, but of course now there is an internet so the night before our hunt Jawn pulled up Google Earth and showed us what our game plan would be. The ranch has open land where cattle graze, steep brush-choked draws, rolling slopes and yes, a river runs through it. The Potlach River. As Jawn pointed out the names of various draws we’d be hunting over the next two days, my mind kept coming back to the river. “Ever fish it?” I asked. He had, but not much. “Any Westslope Cutthroat in there?” He said there were rainbows. And steelhead spawn in the river as well. “Steelhead?!” I said out loud, or perhaps I thought I said it out loud. Could be the rainbow are actually steelhead smolts. Maybe not. Jawn hadn’t given it much attention from a fishing standpoint. It’s not a big river, but via Google Earth it looked worthy of my time. Perhaps another time. I was here to hunt elk, not cast flies. Not even elk hair flies. Had to get fishing out of my head. A good night’s rest would help with that.

I rarely get a good sleep the night before a hunting or fishing trip, but this first night was particularly lacking in ample hours of quality rest. It’s not that we stayed up particularly late–we didn’t. But on Saturday morning we awoke at an ungodly hour thanks to the fact that my other buddy, Micro, forgot to adjust his watch to reflect the fact that he was no longer in the Mountain Time Zone. I heard him get up and start rustling around in the dark, a fuzzy-eyed glance at my clock revealed that it was 2:15 am. I let him get halfway dressed before pointing out that we had another hour to sleep (needless to say that next hour went by rather quickly). After a breakfast that was eaten more out of acknowledged necessity than gnawing hunger, we piled into the truck. At 4:30 we rendezvoused with Jawn’s dad at a local truck stop, and under the cloak of rain-soaked darkness we headed into the hills. Did I mention it was raining?

In less than an hour we dropped Micro and Jawn’s dad off at one location on the ranch before Jawn and I proceeded up the road a few clicks. The plan was for them to hike in and take up a vantage point along the edge of a wheat field, while Jawn and I pushed in from the top. As we slogged through a field of waist-high seed grass toward the top of the hill, I couldn’t help but think that this must be what it’s like to walk through an automatic, brush-free car wash. By the time we reached the top of the rise our pants were soaked through, and I felt my feet beginning to get damp as well. Apparently my 10 year old waterproof boots which had never failed me before were telling me it was time for new boots. I had rain pants, but they were, of course, in my pack. Putting them on now seemed a silly thing to do, but something I did nonetheless. At least it wasn’t cold (unless you were wet). I believe I mentioned earlier that it was raining. Well, it still was.

Accompanying the rain was a blanket of thick fog that reduced our ability to see.  For those not of a hunting persuasion, think of fog being as the equivalent of wind to the fly angling person. We had a vantage point high on a ridge overlooking what was allegedly a thick stand of forest, below which was supposedly the wheat field where the others had by now taken up position. We could hear scores of turkeys gobbling and yelping, and several cattle mooing as they’re known to do, but we didn’t hear any bull elk bugling or cow elk calling. And we couldn’t see anything beyond a distance of about 40 yards. Not ideal for spotting elk in the thick brush 200 yards below us.

F#g.

Jumping ahead a couple of hours, we met up with Micro and Jawn’s dad and told them what we’d seen earlier in the morning, which amounted to nothing at all. They’d not seen any elk either, which was not surprising because the idea had been for Jawn and I to spot elk, take a well-placed shot and harvest an animal, while at the same time pushing the rest of the herd out below, where Micro and Jawn’s dad would hopefully get a shot. In a perfect world we’d have two animals down and the rest of the day would be spent packing meat and beating our chests in celebration. Since that wasn’t quite how it turned out, we devised another plan of attack as the rain lightened. The next few hours would see an improvement in the weather, and the hunting.

Part II

Part III

 

A conversation with: Olive the Woolly Bugger

November 2, 2011 / / 10 Comments

It seems as though interviews with other bloggers and fly fishing industry personalities are all the rage lately in the fly fishing blogasphere. Look no further than Eat More Brook Trout‘s “20 Questions” series of great interviews (seek each and every one of them out and read them, they are excellent). And then there’s the Outdoor Blogger Network‘s foray into the internet Q&A forum with it’s “Quick Fire Interviews” (the first of which features Fontinalis Rising and just aired recently). These interviews are good for the host blog and they’re good for the individuals being interviewed. And they’re good for the viewer. So naturally I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon with this exclusive, never-been-interviewed-before icon of the fly fishing world.

Olive the woolly bugger vice

The first thing you’ll notice when you meet today’s guest is her diminutive stature (she appears to be about a size 10 or so). She’s olive greenish-colored with a fluffy tail made of cartoon marabou and what appear to be ping-pong balls for eyes. What she lacks in physical size she more than makes up for in enthusiasm, and she’s got a memory like a steel trap. She stars in her own series of children’s books and we’re very honored to have her in the studios today. Please make welcome Olive, the Woolly Booger.

Olive: Hello. Actually, it’s Woolly Bugger. Not Booger.

UA: Right. Anyway…welcome.

Olive: Thanks for having me. How are you?

UA: I’ll be the one asking questions here.

Olive: Sorry, I was just–––

UA: Moving on. I’m a very busy man and don’t have a lot of time so let’s get to it. Tell us a little bit about your books. There are 3, yes? And they’re children’s books about fly fishing, correct?

Olive: Yes, there are 3 books in the series: Olive the Little Woolly Bugger, Olive and The Big Stream, and Olive Goes for a Wild Ride. And as you noted they are children’s books. But they’re not just about fly fishing, really.

UA: Are you calling me a liar?

Olive: Oh no, sir. They certainly use fly fishing as a backdrop to tell stories but there are important life lessons to be taught that go beyond the water’s edge…lessons about discovering personal talents, perseverance, treating others kindly, and that being different is good.

UA: That’s all fine and dandy, but what if we just want to learn about fly fishing?

Olive: Well, there’s definitely quite a bit about that, especially in the first book where I go to Camp Tightloops to learn how to become a fishing fly. In the second book readers find out what it’s like to catch a trout. It captures the thrill that comes with catching one’s first fish or their 100th fish.

UA: Do you bonk the fish?

Olive: I’m sorry?

UA: You know, do you give the fish the old “stone shampoo”…smack it over the head and toss it in the wicker creel?

Olive: Oh no, I practice catch and release and impart a message of conservation-minded angling.

UA: OK, that’s fine. But what’s your position on hatchery steelhead?

Olive: They’re excellent smoked.

UA: Now we’re talkin’. So the first book is heavier on the fly fishing thing, and the second book is about catching and releasing your first trout. Tell us about the third book, Olive Goes for a Wild Ride. Sounds like you visit an amusement park or something.

Olive: (laughs) No, not quite, although it’s a lot of fun. In the third book I find myself at the end of a broken tippet and snagged on a submerged branch at the bottom of the river. I get rescued by a small fry named Clark. He’s really nice – you’d like him a lot. He’s a steelhead!

UA: Pond Monkey?

Olive: Excuse me?

UA: Hatchery brat.

Olive: Oh no, he’s not a brat at all. And he’s got an adipose fin. Anyway, Clark and I venture downstream on a wild journey of discovery. We learn about the lifecycle of salmon, insects hatches and find out that a cold, clean water is necessary to sustain all sorts of wildlife besides fish.

UA: Sounds like an interesting story. Are these books any good?

Olive: I’m not real comfortable answering that question. I think the reviews speak for themselves.

UA: Oh come on.  Humility is so overrated! In addition to those reviews you so shamelessly linked to, you’ve also earned some 5 Star reviews by official Amazon Reviewers.

Olive: Well, yes. Thank you.

UA: So, are these books for little tiny kids? You know, toddlers that like to look at the pictures, and drool and chew on the corners of the pages?

Olive: The books have a reading level of about 6 years-old and up. Littler kids who can’t read will enjoy looking at the illustrations and having the stories read to them, but the books may be a little bit long for a quick bedtime story.

UA: So would it be safe to say that they’re fully written narratives, and not typical picture books?

Olive: Yes, that would be a fair assessment. The books are between 45 and 50 pages each, approximately.

UA: Where were your books when my kids were younger? I still have nightmares of sitting through countless repeats of Good Night Moon and The Velveteen Rabbit.

Olive: That’s not a very nice thing to say. Those are wonderful story books.

UA: Whatever. Just answer the question.

Olive: If you don’t mind my saying so, you seem tense.

UA: (furrows brow) I am NOT. Now answer the question: Where were your books when my kids were younger?

Olive: My books were only published only about 4 years ago. Your kids are almost 18 and 20, right?

UA: How’d you know that?

Olive: You told me when we were talking before the interview started, remember?

UA: Next question. So, besides your books, what’s going on with Olive these days?

Olive: Well, I’m very excited about an exclusive deal with Montana Fly Company to produce fly boxes featuring art from my books. They’re also offering  some nippers with my picture on them.

UA: Cool. I actually have one of the fly boxes. It’s very nice quality and pretty sweet looking.

Olive: Thank you. Yes, I sent that fly box to you, remember?

UA: We’re almost out of time. What else would you like to let all 8 readers of this blog know about Olive?

Olive: Would it be OK to mention my big screen project?

UA: Uh, did you say big screen? You’re going to be on the big screen?

Olive: Well, I hope so. I mean, it’s just a dream right now but I’ve definitely got my sights on Hollywood.

UA: Jumping on the reality show bandwagon, eh? Real Woolly Boogers of Madison County? HA-HA! But seriously, don’t you think there are enough of those worthless programs already?

Olive: Oh, I’m not looking to do anything like that. I actually want to star in my own animated feature film.

UA: You mean like Shrek, or Cars, or Finding Nemo?

Olive: Well, sorta like that. Those are all great films. I especially liked Finding Nemo.

UA: What is it with you and Owl Jones and your quests for world domination?

Olive: I’m not trying to do any such thing. I just want to share my story with everyone. And I hope that Mr. Jones hooks up with Larry the Cable Guy. That would be a hoot.

UA: Larry the Cable Guy?  Wasn’t he the voice for “Tow-Mater” in Cars?

Olive: Yes he was. And that was also a great animated film. I’m looking forward to seeing Cars 2.

UA: Do you really think a producer or animation studio is going to make an animated film about fly fishing?

Olive: Well, see, therein lies the misperception. It won’t be a film about fly fishing any more than A River Runs Through It was.

UA: WhatchootalkinaboutWillis? A River Runs Through It was absolutely about fly fishing. Are you insane?

Olive: Hey, there’s no need to get nasty. If you read the book and watch the movie, A River Runs Through It simply uses fly fishing as a vehicle to tell a much bigger story.

UA: So now you’re comparing yourself to the great literary work of Norman MacLean?

Olive: Oh no, not at all. My point is that the movie I want to make isn’t a story about fly fishing. It’s much more than that.

UA: You mean to suggest that there’s more to fishing than just catching fish?

Olive: Absolutely. You’re very clever–did you just make that up? (giggles)

UA: Watch yourself. OK, for sake of argument let’s assume I agree with what you’re saying. So, who’s going to make this film and when can we see it?

Olive: I wish I could answer those questions, but I’m nowhere near that point. In fact I’m just trying to figure this whole thing out. I’m reaching out to as many different people who understand the film industry and talking to them, gathering information, following possible leads, and hoping someone nibbles.

UA: Sounds an awful lot like fishing, to me.

Olive: It’s exactly like fishing in many ways. I know there’s a big fish out there. Down deep, under a cut bank. I know if I can just find them they’ll take an interest and strike. Then it’s a matter of setting the hook and keeping my line tight.

UA: You know, the Woolly Bugger is one of the best all around patterns in the world of fly fishing. If any fly can get it done, you can.

Olive: Thank you, that’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me.

UA: Don’t let it go to your head. Continue.

Olive: I’m confident that my idea will make for a great film, but it’s going to be a long, upstream swim against a strong current.

UA: Another fishing metaphor. Very clever. You mentioned perseverance as being one of the lessons taught in your books. Just tap into that and you’ll make it. How can we help?

Olive: Well, see that little graphic in the sidebar of your blog?

UA: The one that says, “Help Send Olive to Hollywood?” Wait a minute – how did that get there?

Olive: I asked you to put it there a few months ago, remember? Anyway, it’s a widget. If readers have a blog or website and would like to copy and paste the code, flying the badge will help spread the word.

UA: You don’t really think that a few of those widgets floating around the internet will actually land you a film deal with Pixar, do you?

Olive: Oh, no.  In fact, Pixar isn’t even on my radar–I wish! (giggles) But posting the widget can’t hurt to get the word out. I doubt the big fish is reading this blog but maybe they’ll read one of the other, better blogs that carry the badge. You never know.

UA: I think you just took a jab at me, but I’m going to let that go. Sounds like this grass roots approach is a long shot.

Olive: For sure. But why not? Some studio looking for a totally new film concept will take notice. I’m sure of it. And my film will be different than any other animated film made.

UA: How so?

Olive: It’ll be a film with an important message of conservation. We need to teach kids to become stewards of our natural resources. Mine will be a film with a conscience.

UA: Come on, Olive. Let’s be realistic. People go to the movies to be entertained. They don’t want to sit there and be preached to.

Olive: Oh, I would never preach. And besides, it’ll be a great story, with great characters. Characters like Roderick Hawg-Brown, Zane Grayling, Lefty Crayfish, Elwood and Elwha the bickering beavers and whole cast of others.

UA: Ha Ha!  You said “cast”. Another clever fishing pun.

Olive: (smiles politely) Anyway, it’ll be an awesome film. People will be entertained. And a brilliant screenwriter will make sure the audience isn’t even be aware that they’re learning important lessons.

UA: Very catchy character names, by the way. I read about fly fishing and conservation matters so I caught the subtle humor. But what about people seeing the film who don’t pick up on those inside antics?

Olive: They’ll be great characters regardless of whether people know who these characters are named after. Not every subtle reference in every film is picked up upon by every audience member.

UA: Fair enough. Now back to the widget things. Not everyone has a blog or a website, and even if they did, not everyone is going to post that widget on their site. What else can people do to help?

Olive: Well, I’m hoping that people will just pass the word around. If folks like the idea for a film like this, talk about it at the watercooler. Tweet it (@olivewoollybugr). Please join my Facebook page.  If readers know someone who I should talk to I’d love to hear from them. My philosophy is to leave no stone left unturned.

UA: Like when you’re looking for streamside insect larva…

Olive: (silence)

UA: You know, turning rocks over to look underneath for bugs…get it?

Olive: Yes, I get it.

UA: Wow, tough crowd. So, besides Twitter and Facebook, how can people get a hold of you?

Olive: I have my own blog/website: olivethewoollybugger.com

UA: It’s a nice looking site. I fancy myself a bit of an artist and feel slightly threatened.

Olive: There’s no reason to be threatened. You designed my site, remember?

UA: Of course I remember, silly. OK, before we go where can people find your books?

Olive: They’re widely available online and most fly shops should carry them. If they don’t, they can order them.

UA: Great, well thanks for stopping by, Olive.

Olive: Wait, before we go may I ask you a question?

UA: Sure, but make it quick. We’re almost out of time and I’m a very busy man.

Olive: When was the last time you caught a fish?

UA: And we’re all out of time.

 

Olive the Woolly Bugger in 3D CGI

 

 

Sage ONE: a review

October 26, 2011 / / 31 Comments

I’d been wanting to test cast the new Sage ONE ever since hearing about it a few months ago, but due to high demand in the world of rod reviewers I had to wait my turn. Recently on a particular Wednesday I learned that it was my time. Two days later it showed up via my favorite brown parcel delivery van. That’s the kind of power and influence the Unaccomplished Angler has. Or it could just be that Bainbridge Island-based Sage manufacturing is only a short ferry ride from Seattle, and Seattle is only 25 miles from the testing facilities of the Unaccomplished Angler. Whatever the case may be, I wasn’t expecting the rod to arrive so quickly. After opening the box I took a few moments to stare at the pieces that I held in my hands. To clarify, the rod was not broken into pieces during shipping; all was as it should be. I just wanted to take it all in for a bit before piecing the rod together. The ONE is aesthetically easy on the eyes; understated, but with a certain cool factor. The blank is “black ice”with bronze-toned wraps. A walnut and bronze-colored, aluminum anodized up-locking reel seat. Chrome plated guides.

What? Another Review?

There are many reviews out there for this rod, with more likely being added daily. So how is another review beneficial to you, the reader? Many reviews will regurgitate the same information, and regardless of what the reviews say, all are subjective and may mean nothing to you. Casting any rod is the only way for the individual to know if it’s the right one for you.  In this review I will draw comparisons between the ONE and my Z-Axis that I’ve had since the Z was first introduced. Since the ONE is replacing the Z-Axis the comparison makes sense in that regard. For me personally, it makes even more sense because I absolutely love my Z-Axis. It’s my go-to trout rod that I begrudgingly set aside only when conditions call for a 6 weight. For a 4 wt rod, the Z has a lot of backbone so I use it most of the time. If I were going to be replacing it, the ONE would be a natural rod to consider.

Kicking Tires

Anyone who has ever grabbed a rod knows that the old “wiggle test” really tells you nothing meaningful about the rod’s casting characteristics. It’s akin to kicking tires when you go to look at a new car. But it’s something most of us do, so once I assembled the ONE of course I gave it the old wiggle test. The rod I wiggled was a 486-4, meaning it’s a 4wt, 8’6″ 4 section rod. At 2-7/16 ounces it felt not-surprisingly light in the hand. My Z Axis 490-4 (9 foot, 4 piece), at 3-1/6 ounces, is a little heavier than the ONE but the difference could not be noticed from my perspective. The Z-Axis  has a reversed half wells grip that I am very accustomed to, so obviously the ONE, with its full wells grip, felt different (not a bad thing). The full wells grip will make the rod more comfortable in large hands (not a problem for me). The side-by-side wiggle test did reveal that the ONE is stiffer than the Z-Axis–there is noticeably more flex down the shaft of the rod with the Z. But both are considered fast action rods.

Out on the Lawn

I’d read about the incredible tracking and accuracy of the ONE and was eager to get it out on the lawn. There’s been a lot of talk about Konnetic™ technology, whatever that is. And Sage uses the tagline, “Accuracy Redefined” to describe the ONE, which is said to have virtually no lateral or torsional movement. I was curious to see if I would notice, or better yet–if I could defy those claims. I decided I would grip the rod incorrectly with my thumb to the inside, and break my wrist (not literally, mind you) to see if I could thrown some line off course. Then I gripped the rod properly, with my thumb aligned down the spine of the rod, locked my wrist and employed proper technique. I noticed two things: First, casting poorly comes easily to me; secondly, the ONE does a very good job of maintaining a true course. In other words, I noticed that it does have very little lateral movement and the energy seems to flow in a straight line, as is intended. But if you use improper technique you will not get the casting results you want, even with the ONE.

While not an apples comparison due to the additional 6 inches of length with the Z-Axis, I was able to cast equal amounts of line with the ONE. The lawn casting session revealed that in my unaccomplished hands, the ONE felt very similar and yet different than the old Z-Axis. I definitely felt more flex down the blank with the Z, but that’s not to suggest that the ONE is anything resembling a broomstick. On the contrary, due to it’s slim profile you can definitely feel it load, and it does so quickly. But lawn casting isn’t the ultimate test for a fly rod–getting it out on the water, actually fishing it was what needed to happen next. For the record and much to my dismay, while lawn casting I did not hook up with a single Lawn Trout.

One fishy rod

Fortunately within a week I had an opportunity to test the rod on the water and off to the Yakima River I went, with the ONE cradled safely within the rod tube for my Z-Axis (the demo rod didn’t come with a tube). I will say that while no rod will make you a better caster, the ONE may make you a better angler. At least this ONE might because I caught a nice rainbow within 5 minutes of the put-in. Believe me, that doesn’t happen very often (if ever) on the Yakima. I landed half a dozen fish on this day: enough to discover that quick hook sets are a snap due to the tip flex of the ONE. And when the fish put their noses down in some heavy current, the rod flexed enough that I enjoyed playing the fish. The tip is quite sensitive such that the 5X tippet was well protected. Casting my weight forward line with a large single dry fly or a large single dry fly with a dropper was a easy. One thing I’ve always really liked about my Z-Axis is the rod’s ability to pick up a lot of line off the water and get it moving in the air quickly.  The ONE did not disappoint in this regard. The wind blows often on the Yakima and thankfully it wasn’t much of an issue on this particular day. Still, it blew for a while and the ONE punched through the gusts in fine form. The rod put my fly where I wanted it to go and did so very efficiently. By the end of the day I felt that while perhaps not quite an extension of my arm (as Sage says), the ONE felt like an old friend: very similar to my Z-Axis, but different. A bit more nimble perhaps? Casts that really were right on track? I don’t want to say too much for fear of pissing off my Z-Axis, which has been very good to me and I need to continue being good to me for years to come. It was bad enough that I left the Z at home and borrowed it’s rod tube for this day on the water with the ONE. If I say anything else flattering about the ONE, I’m likely to regret it.

Premium rod

With a retail price of $715, the rod as tested is going to cause many to roll their eyes and make snide remarks. Others will openly admit they wish they could afford it and will hold out for the time when they either win the lottery or the ONE can be found on the used market. And then there will be those who will buy the rod without blinking an eye. Me? I’m not parting with my Z-Axis any time soon, but after my kids are both done with college in a few years I may have some disposable income once again. Then I’ll go shopping for a ONE.

If you’d like one of two free Sage ONE hats, quickly head over to my Unaccomplished Angler Facebook page and leave a comment where indicated.

 

BASSCAR: It was bound to happen

October 19, 2011 / / 25 Comments

I was recently driving back from an Unaccomplished Elk Hunt (more to come on that later), crossing the vast expanse of Eastern Washington. Helping to ease the pain of the fruitless hunt and 6 hour drive was a Fish Schtick podcast in which professional bass fisherman Darren Gallaher was interviewed. Now I’m not a particular fan of a tournament bass fishing (nothing wrong with it, just not my cup o’tea per se), but I do like fast boats so I listened with great interest as Fish Schtick host Teeg Stouffer (of Recycled Fish fame) recalled his butt-puckering experience of racing across the surface of a lake at well over 70 miles per hour. Apparently he left behind some brown stains on the upholstery of Darren’s boat. Good stuff right there – recommend you listen to the podcast HERE.

Another sport of which I’m not a particular fan is car racing, although I do appreciate fast cars (unfortunately I do not own one or the trip would have taken far less time). As I listened to the Fish Schtick podcast I couldn’t help but draw similarities between professional bass tournaments and NASCAR.  With the emphasis on speed and uniforms adorned with sponsor logos, they share much in common, not to mention there are a lot of southern accents in each sport, too. Undoubtedly there is also some overlap with the fan base of each sport. My revelation isn’t anything new, but I’ve yet to see a formal proposal for a new sport that combines the two so here it is…BASSCAR: The inevitable union of NASCAR and Professional Bass Fishing.

NASCAR race cars are to be fitted with hitches (which will attract new sponsors from the hitch manufacturing industry), to which will be coupled bass fishing boats/trailers. Obviously some alterations would have to be made to the trailers in order for them to be able to withstand speeds approaching 200 mph, but that won’t be an issue for the motor heads out there that love to tinker. Lightweight alloys, racing wheels and tires, high speed axles…no problem.

The race courses will be a combination of oval tracks, open roads and boat ramps. And of course, waterways. The cars will scream around the tracks much like they do at NASCAR races, although the track segment of the competition will be considerably shorter so as not to bore the audience to allow for the remainder of the race to conclude within a reasonable amount of time. A certain number of laps would have to be completed before the cars pull into the pits and have their tires changed and bass boat trailers hitched up. At this point the cars, with their boats in tow, would exit the race stadium and hit the open road en route to a distant bass fishing body of water, again at break-neck speeds. Obviously roads would be blocked off to prevent civilian traffic interference. Wildlife that would wish to cross the roads during the race will be on their own.

Once teams have reached the destination waters the drivers will be tasked with quickly backing their trailers through a challenging obstacle course, again at the greatest speeds possible, before descending the ramp and getting the trailers into the water. Good brakes will be essential here. At this point the pit crew would be on hand to quickly unhook the boat and tie it to a nearby dock. A good pit crew will prove invaluable here, tending to matters such as insuring that the drain plugs have been installed and the beer coolers adequately stocked. Prime positioning will be on a first come, first served basis–an incentive to obviously do well prior to this point in the race. The driver must then quickly park his race car and trailer in a designated location some distance away, change out of their race suit and sprint to the dock where the vessel awaits. Once in the boat the angling portion of the competition begins and will play out very much like a bass tournament.

A sport like this would combine the skills of race car driving, recreational trailer maneuvering, and of course, bass fishing. But another aspect of BASSCAR would be physical fitness. The foot race from the designated vehicle/trailer parking lot would be far enough from the boat dock that the race entrants would be required to have a certain level of agility and fitness in order to be competitive. I believe that by including this element it would make the sport more appealing to a wider, west-coast audience, and would of course attract a greater number sponsors, such as Nike and other running/fitness industry companies.

I’m not sure how quickly BASSCAR will take off in popularity, but I do know that the Unaccomplished Angler wants to sponsor a team. Unfortunately there’s not a lot of money in our camp, so Team UA may not be very competitive.

 

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