michael corleone godfather 3 quote
In last week’s Weekly Drivel® I came clean and announced that I was done with stickers. If so inclined, my confession can be viewed HERE.
But a clean break is never as easy as it may sound—there are always temptations out there that can test a person’s stickery resolve. Today I received not one, but two tempting offers via email from one “James Scott, Advertising Manager/Hiring Manager for Budweiser Beer, Inc.” The emails were both titled:
Wrap your car with Budweiser Advertisement Wrap and Get Paid…
I’m glad he sent me two emails in case I missed one or the other! In his messages Mr. Scott generously offered me the opportunity to receive $200 per week just for having the Fish Taco slathered bumper to bumper with a Budweiser vehicle wrap. His exact enticement said:
It is Very Easy and Simple with No Application fees required : Here’s how It works – The basic premise of the “paid to drive” concept Budweiser beer seeks people — regular citizens, not professional drivers — to go about their normal routine as they usually do, only with a big advert of “Budweiser” plastered on your car/truck. The adverts are typically vinyl decals, also known as “auto wraps,” that almost seem to be painted on the vehicle, and which will cover any portion of your car’s exterior surface. What does the company get out of this type of ad strategy? Lots of exposure and awareness. The auto wraps tend to be colourful and eye-catching and attract lots of attention. Plus, it’s a form of advertising with a captive audience, meaning people who are stuck in traffic and can’t avoid seeing the wrapped car alongside them.
(Editor’s note to Mr. Scott: Here in America, the word “colourful” has only one “u”)
Mr. Scott undoubtedly read last week’s Drivel and is preying on my weakness. Why, it’s the ultimate sticker AND a chance to get paid handsomely! You can imagine my inner turmoil. As Al Pacino’s character, Michael Corleone in The Godfather III, said:
The program lasts for 3 months, although the minimum period I can participate is 1 month. If my advanced math education serves me correct, I could be paid as much as $2400 if I elect to enroll in this program—stickers and riches! There is no fine print that says I have to actually drive at all during this time period, so I could leave the Beer Batter Fish Taco in the garage, safe from public ridicule (as well as the harsh judgment of Mrs. UA) and still collect my fee. When I do need to run an errand, I can either walk, or, I’ve got my trusty Noped that can get me where I’m going at 23 mph and 100 mpg. But I digress, I’ve always wanted my own beer truck.
This almost sounds too good to be true, Mr. Scott—but I am in, sir!
Wait, what? This is too good to be true?
Oh well, I did just receive a generous gift of $18,600,000 USD from a nice, terminally ill widow in Europe. Money should be arriving any day now, so who needs vehicle wraps?