Bahamas bonefishin’, Unaccomplished style

Leaving the drawing to the pros. Just sayin...


A month or so ago a poorly-drawn, corrugated depiction of the Unaccomplished Angler went steelhead fishing in Idaho.  A couple weeks later *I* was seen holed up in a dark room somewhere in Michigan, waiting for the day that was promised *I* would get to go fishing.  There’s been not a peep from the Corrugated Angler since, but that doesn’t mean the Virtual Unaccomplished Angler has just been sitting around not fishing, like the real flesh and blood Unaccomplished Angler has been sitting around not fishing…no way.

Recently the Virtual Unaccomplished Angler made an appearance at Andros South Lodge on South Andros Island in the Bahamas. That’s right, the Bahamas, baby!  While everyone else in the northern hemisphere was shivering and cleaning moss from between their toes, *I* was fly fishing for Bonefish, drinking local beer, eating fabulous food and enjoying all the amenities offered to those fortunate enough to have been invited to partake of FIBfest 2011. We live in a world where acronyms reign supreme, so for those not in the know, FIB stands for Fly Industry Bloggers, FYI. This trip is hosted by Andrew Bennett of Deneki Outdoors. Oh, and BTW, “fest” is not an an acronym, but rather it is an accepted abbreviation for “festivities” or perhaps “fester” which is what can happen if you step on coral and it becomes infected. However, I believe that in this case “fest” refers not to the latter.

If you want to read up on the experiences shared by some of the others in attendance at FIBfest, check out these folks and their blogs:

I’d love to share  with you my experiences, but remember—I wasn’t really there. Only a t-shirt shirt bearing the logo of the Unaccomplished Angler was in attendance, and that’s good enough for me. It has to be.

Oh, and *I* had a blast.



  1. cofisher

    I don’t know who to believe any more. Is this you or is it the impostor? Someone said the two of you look so much alike.

    • Kirk Werner

      Howard, the world is becoming a stranger place every day thanks to the internets. We have “friends” we’ve never met in person, “places” we go to discuss matters with like-minded folks, and of course we can shop for just about anything we want without leaving our homes, so why not fish virtually? Seems like the logical next step in our evolution toward becoming a society that is dependent on the computer for more and more. The line between fake and real is officially blurred. In fact I don’t even know who *!* am anymore. I just realized that makes no sense. The confusion is fitting.

  2. coyote luke

    Some day Kirk you should take all the *I’s* fishing together.

    • Kirk Werner

      In a perfect, or perhaps completely imperfect world, Mr. Coyote, all the imitation Unaccomplished Anglers might one day converge in one place. I have a hunch the result would be rather uneventful.

  3. kp

    So awesome Kirk – glad you got those!

    • Kirk Werner

      KP, I was going to post one photo in particular which is my favorite, but in the best interest of protecting the subject and not offending my G-rated audience, I opted not to display a certain photo of a Colorado Trout Bum engaged in a sultry pose wearing said t-shirt…

  4. Fontinalis Rising

    I hate being constantly reminded of my tardiness in trotting out CUA, so here’s my promise- CUA (Cardboard Unaccomplished Angler aka Cardboard Kirk) will make an appearance before the end of next week. I have my excuses.

    • Kirk Werner

      FR, we all have excuses (you should see my list). I have no doubt that we’ll actually get out and fish, but my immediate concern is that you’ve been plying me with coffee on a daily basis. Unless you let me out of the guest room soon, or get me catheter, things are going to get ugly in here. The box of Dipends is almost gone.

  5. cofisher

    Me Next, Me Next…

    • Kirk Werner

      You realize that I have absolutely no say in the matter of my future destinations, correct? That being said, I’m game for where ever, when ever. Ever since I got my first John Denver album as a kid, I’ve always wanted to go to Colorado…

      • The River Damsel

        Sorry you missed out on the Smokies…you would have liked them. I tried to get you back in time, but there has been some delays with your travels, it seems.

        • Kirk Werner

          I have no idea where I am, where I am going, or even where I’ve been. Funny how art imitates life and ignorance is bliss.

  6. Dean Wormell

    I bit of an oxymoron… The unaccomplished angler achieving an angling accomplishment. Well done!

    • Kirk Werner

      Dean, it takes a real set of virtual cajones to waltz into the back room of the UA and call him an oxymoron, although admittedly I’ve been called worse before. But as long as you’re here, thanks for chiming in!

      • Dean Wormell

        Truly, no offense intended here, Kirk. It is great to see individuals getting a the attention they deserve for their contributions to the sport.

        • Kirk Werner

          No offense take, Dean- just jerkin’ your line…yankin’ your chain, as it were 😉 Not sure what contributions the UA has made or is making to the sport, but thanks for the sentiment.

  7. Rebecca

    After careful analysis of the three pictures, I’d say the UA T-shirt fits the anonymous #1 picture the best.

    Poorly drawn….jeezz…where’s the love? I fly fish…I don’t draw Mr. Fancy Illustrator. And you should be nicer, I took you..or rather *I* to the Bahamas. Look how close you were to a bonefish!

    • Kirk Werner

      I would have to agree with your assessment, Rebecca, about the anonymous #1 photo.

      I have already acknowledged publicly that I am an art snob. It’s something beyond my control. I’m sure you can understand, you know? It’s like when you look at a website and roll your eyes because of how poorly it’s optimized. How do you turn that off? It’s not possible. But it doesn’t mean *I* am not appreciative for having been crammed into your luggage for a 24 hour one way trip to the Bahamas and back.

      • Rebecca

        Don’t think I didn’t notice you’ve moved the pictures around……

        • Kirk Werner

          I’m sure I have no idea about that which you speak of… 😉

  8. Patrick

    Nice to see the UA’s march toward world domination is right on track.

    • Kirk Werner

      It’s a small, small world, Pat. Fitting of the diminutive UA, who may have a lot in common with Napolean, either Bonparte or Dynamite.

  9. Brett Colvin

    Kirk: It’s great to see you clothing the needy at the FIB Fest. My shipment of FlytoWater assless chaps did not arrive in time, otherwise I would have donated to the cause as well.

    • Kirk Werner

      Brett, I wonder, does a person have to attend FIBfest to score a pair of those chaps?

    • Rebecca

      Ummm, I’m not sure there was enough Kalik beer in the fridge to entice anyone to put on a pair of assless chaps.

      BUT, if they had been there, I would have done my best to talk the guys into it =)

      • Kirk Werner

        You might be surprised how little beer it takes some (not saying who, or if that would include me) to do something like that. Just sayin…

  10. David G

    Looks like you can sit back and watch your fishing adventures play out, while secretly make accomplishments behind the curtain in reality. I’m really glad that you came out of retirement!

  11. Kevin Breen

    Glad to see “you” went bonefishing in warmer climes! I on the other hand wait here at the salt lake city international airport, sucking down another Starbucks, whilst awaiting the arrival of my brother, Scott. We shall be trucking east to fish the awe inspiring Green River. The weather is not suppose to be cooperating with this thin-blooded Texas transplant, but, hey…’s the Green! Photos of our successes…..forthcoming…tallyho!

    • Kirk Werner

      I’m looking forward to seeing your photos from the trip. Maybe a guest blog is in order, but only if you experience certain unaccomplishments. Keep me posted.

  12. Owl Jones

    I almost missed this whole thread. Thankfully……ah nevermind. 😉

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