Confession of a non-tier

I don’t tie flies.

This may come as a surprise to people who don’t know me or fish with me. A lot of people assume that if one is a fly angling person, one is automatically a fly tying person. In my case, that is not the case.

I’ve never tied a fly.

I have never sat down at a vice and even tried tying before. In fact I’ve never watched someone else tie a fly, in person, although I will admit to having watched super fast-motion videos of people tying flies.

I have no interest in tying flies.

Despite being a creative person, I really don’t feel the tug of fly tying. I can understand the satisfaction of tying, of catching a fish on a pattern of one’s own creation. I can see how some folks derive great pleasure from creating their own patterns and giving them unique names. I like creating words, and drawing pictures, but I am not drawn to tying.

I don’t have the time to tie flies.

I seem to have no  trouble filling my free time with other creative endeavors. I suppose, hypothetically, I would make time to tie if I were to take up the craft. Perhaps that’s a concern: that I may be consumed by tying and would never get anything else done.

I’m fiscally too practical to tie flies.

The cost of tying materials and equipment far exceeds what I spend on perfectly fine-quality, store-bought flies.

If I were to tie flies…

I already have a pattern in mind. It would be an ant pattern with a parachute that resembles a checkered doo rag, and I would call it the “Ant Jemima”. And I would trademark the pattern and license the tying rights to the highest bidder, and retire on the royalties. And then I would have the time and the fiscal freedom to tie flies.

Ant Jemima®
The Ant Jemima® (AKA “Antie J”)




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