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Just when you thought I was done with stickers…

Mother of all stickers!

In last week’s Weekly Drivel® I came clean and announced that I was done with stickers. If so inclined, my confession can be viewed HERE.

But a clean break is never as easy as it may sound—there are always temptations out there that can test a person’s stickery resolve. Today I received not one, but two tempting offers via email from one “James Scott, Advertising Manager/Hiring Manager for Budweiser Beer, Inc.”  The emails were both titled:

Wrap your car with Budweiser Advertisement Wrap and Get Paid…

I’m glad he sent me two emails in case I missed one or the other! In his messages Mr. Scott generously offered me the opportunity to receive $200 per week just for having the Fish Taco slathered bumper to bumper with a Budweiser vehicle wrap. His exact enticement said:

It is Very Easy and Simple with No Application fees required : Here’s how It works – The basic premise of the “paid to drive” concept Budweiser beer seeks people — regular citizens, not professional drivers — to go about their normal routine as they usually do, only with a big advert of “Budweiser” plastered on your car/truck. The adverts are typically vinyl decals, also known as “auto wraps,” that almost seem to be painted on the vehicle, and which will cover any portion of your car’s exterior surface. What does the company get out of this type of ad strategy? Lots of exposure and awareness. The auto wraps tend to be colourful and eye-catching and attract lots of attention. Plus, it’s a form of advertising with a captive audience, meaning people who are stuck in traffic and can’t avoid seeing the wrapped car alongside them.

(Editor’s note to Mr. Scott: Here in America, the word “colourful” has only one “u”)

Mr. Scott undoubtedly read last week’s Drivel and is preying on my weakness. Why, it’s the ultimate sticker AND a chance to get paid handsomely! You can imagine my inner turmoil. As Al Pacino’s character, Michael Corleone in The Godfather III,  said:

The program lasts for 3 months, although the minimum period I can participate is 1 month. If my advanced math education serves me correct, I could be paid as much as $2400 if I elect to enroll in this program—stickers and riches! There is no fine print that says I have to actually drive at all during this time period, so I could leave the Beer Batter Fish Taco in the garage, safe from public ridicule (as well as the harsh judgment of Mrs. UA) and still collect my fee. When I do need to run an errand, I can either walk, or, I’ve got my trusty Noped that can get me where I’m going at 23 mph and 100 mpg. But I digress, I’ve always wanted my own beer truck.

This could be me, or you!

This almost sounds too good to be true, Mr. Scott—but I am in, sir!

Wait, what? This is too good to be true?

Car Wrap Scams on the Rise—Beware 

Oh well, I did just receive a generous gift of $18,600,000 USD from a nice, terminally ill widow in Europe. Money should be arriving any day now, so who needs vehicle wraps?

16 thoughts on “Just when you thought I was done with stickers…”

  1. Brian Koz says:

    Hey Kirk~
    I have heard of a few buddies being approached to decal out their vehicle with certain soda corporations, luckily I live in too small of a community. They are only financially feasible in large markets. Next you will see offers for feminine products and incontinence wrapped around your vehicle. How tough can you be showing up to the river with your MacKenzie Drifter all deeked out and your 4X4 monster truck is pink and purple with Tampax ornamentation??
    Tight Lines,
    Koz

    1. Kirk Werner says:

      Koz, I think that Mr. Scott would have found that the population count for my wee hamlet would not support the number of impressions needed to justify the $200/week fee. Woe is the small town. But like I said, I’ve got that money coming from the dying widow anyway.

  2. Chris says:

    I’ve signed up for the Trojan Ultra-thin auto-wrap program… the only thing “iffy” about for me is that they’ve altered my car horn. Every time I hit the tooter, it sings out, in full tenor, “Trojan Man!”

    1. Kirk Werner says:

      Coffee out the nose thanks to you, Chris! And good on ye—it takes a big man to admit he’s an Ultra-thin.

  3. Owl Jones says:

    Yes, yes,…..everyone knows in the “real world” of car wrapping for money, you don’t get to pick the product. I’m trying to get my wife to do it since she’ll now be commuting almost an hour to work in a month or so – but she’s afraid she’ll get a wrap for Duck Dynasty or SpongeBob. :)

    1. Kirk Werner says:

      A Duck Dynasty wrap would be sweet, Mr. Jones. Not only visually, but similar to what Chris mentioned, when you wife hits the horn it would issue forth a Mallard feeder chuckle. Digga digga digga…

  4. Al says:

    Might be a fun trip to Nigeria to pick up your truck wrap sticker.

    1. Kirk Werner says:

      The question is, which bridge to use in crossing the Atlantic?

  5. Jimmy says:

    Hey, I will cover one of my rigs in a Olive wrap for $2,400.00 a month. Maybe even give you a 3 for 2 deal.

    1. Kirk Werner says:

      Deal. Olive the a Woolly Bugger Heatung and Sheet Metal. Has sort of a nice ring to it.

  6. You are too much! I’m crying I’m laughing so hard!!! The Godfather III clip was the perfect addition… Gonna go fix my mascara now…

    1. Kirk Werner says:

      Don’t encourage me, ma’am. It wasn’t that funny–you’re just new here. The novelty will wear off in short order.

  7. Schpanky says:

    Can they put it on the Moped? I’m sure that thing probably gets a lot of curious looks as it is, so this could only make it better! 😉

    1. Kirk Werner says:

      I like your thinking, Laddie, and actually thought of that myself. The Noped is already Budweiser red, so it seems a logical choice for the application. Your mother will be so pleased as well. Stay tuned!

  8. Car Graphics says:

    Haha, great post. Typically, if a company has an advertisement program like this, you have to find it and be put on a waiting list. There are TONS of people who want to make money just driving around, so there is no need for a large company/corporation to go out -emailing people for this opportunity.

    Regardless, this is still an entertaining post. 😉 Keep it up Kirk.

    1. Kirk Werner says:

      Thanks for chiming in. You’re not going to start spamming my site now, are you? That wouldn’t be cool :)

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