In last week’s Weekly Drivel® I came clean and announced that I was done with stickers. If so inclined, my confession can be viewed HERE.
But a clean break is never as easy as it may sound—there are always temptations out there that can test a person’s stickery resolve. Today I received not one, but two tempting offers via email from one “James Scott, Advertising Manager/Hiring Manager for Budweiser Beer, Inc.” The emails were both titled:
Wrap your car with Budweiser Advertisement Wrap and Get Paid…
I’m glad he sent me two emails in case I missed one or the other! In his messages Mr. Scott generously offered me the opportunity to receive $200 per week just for having the Fish Taco slathered bumper to bumper with a Budweiser vehicle wrap. His exact enticement said:
It is Very Easy and Simple with No Application fees required : Here’s how It works – The basic premise of the “paid to drive” concept Budweiser beer seeks people — regular citizens, not professional drivers — to go about their normal routine as they usually do, only with a big advert of “Budweiser” plastered on your car/truck. The adverts are typically vinyl decals, also known as “auto wraps,” that almost seem to be painted on the vehicle, and which will cover any portion of your car’s exterior surface. What does the company get out of this type of ad strategy? Lots of exposure and awareness. The auto wraps tend to be colourful and eye-catching and attract lots of attention. Plus, it’s a form of advertising with a captive audience, meaning people who are stuck in traffic and can’t avoid seeing the wrapped car alongside them.
(Editor’s note to Mr. Scott: Here in America, the word “colourful” has only one “u”)
Mr. Scott undoubtedly read last week’s Drivel and is preying on my weakness. Why, it’s the ultimate sticker AND a chance to get paid handsomely! You can imagine my inner turmoil. As Al Pacino’s character, Michael Corleone in The Godfather III, said:
The program lasts for 3 months, although the minimum period I can participate is 1 month. If my advanced math education serves me correct, I could be paid as much as $2400 if I elect to enroll in this program—stickers and riches! There is no fine print that says I have to actually drive at all during this time period, so I could leave the Beer Batter Fish Taco in the garage, safe from public ridicule (as well as the harsh judgment of Mrs. UA) and still collect my fee. When I do need to run an errand, I can either walk, or, I’ve got my trusty Noped that can get me where I’m going at 23 mph and 100 mpg. But I digress, I’ve always wanted my own beer truck.
This almost sounds too good to be true, Mr. Scott—but I am in, sir!
Wait, what? This is too good to be true?
Oh well, I did just receive a generous gift of $18,600,000 USD from a nice, terminally ill widow in Europe. Money should be arriving any day now, so who needs vehicle wraps?
Those who know me, and those who don’t but who have seen the Fish Taco, know that I’ve a certain penchant for stickers. Over the past 4 years the back window of the canopy became slathered with no fewer than a whole bunch of stickers: stickers representing pretty much anything to do with fly fishing, from conservation groups to product manufacturers, shops and guides. I’ve been proud to display said advertisements. Actually, advertisement may be the wrong choice of words—more accurately, by displaying said stickers, I was announcing my allegiance and proclaiming my passion for fish and fishing.
The fly fishing world is a stickery business—I wrote about it a few years ago when the Fish Taco sticker collection was still in its infancy (if so inclined you can read about it HERE). Not everyone likes stickers, and critics of said adornment use arguments such as, “I don’t like to advertise that I may have expensive fly fishing gear in my car.” Or in the case of the predictably unsupportive Mrs. UA, “Grow up.” I’ve always dismissed said critics—I like stickers: they give cause to harken back to simpler times when a gold star or smiley face sticker was reward for having achieved relative greatness, or endured a visit to the dentist. To me, stickers have always represented the positive.
But slowly, it began to gnaw at me, one sticker at a time…this feeling that perhaps I wasn’t the best ambassador to represent these many entities; that I wasn’t worthy of their display. Was I merely a hack misrepresenting myself as something otherwise? The answer became painfully clear when I recently looked in the mirror, didn’t like what I saw, and asked, “If the tables were turned, would those entities want to be associated with me?”
And so a couple of weeks ago I grabbed my flat razor blade and alcohol-soaked rag and began to wipe the slate clean. Many of the stickers were slightly oxidized from the damaging UV rays of the sun—some were even beginning to peel around the edges. Others of higher quality had stood the test of time and it was those in particular that were harder to remove. Not physically harder, mind you, but emotionally—such a waste of such a fine product. I held back a tear as I peeled, scraped and wiped away the collection of adhesive-backed goodness.
The result is a large area of glass through which I hadn’t been able to fully see in a long time. Only one sticker remains.
As hard as my decision was, it was the right thing to do. I am, if nothing else, an Unaccomplished Angler and it’s time I quit pretending to be anything else. In my defense I’ve never declared to be anything other than unaccomplished, but the assembly of stickers may have been confusing to others. It’s time I eliminated that confusion and owned up to my fate, fully.
I didn’t even know there was a 60 Minutes of the sporting world until I heard of an upcoming episode featuring April Vokey.
I promise you I am not posting this for the sole purpose of boosting my Google Stats. I honestly feel that this episode of 60 Minutes Sports is something the readers of the Unaccomplished Angler may enjoy seeing. If you’re like me, however, you won’t get to see it because you don’t subscribe to Showtime. If anyone out there does get Showtime, could you please record it on your VHS and send me a copy of the tape? I’d appreciate it. But please, no Betamax—that technology is so 1975.
Episode airs November 6th at 10PM Eastern/Pacific