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It’s so hot the fish are carping.

I’m taking the week off from posting my weekly blog entry.  It’s not for a lack of material, mind you – I always have a couple bits of backup drivel ready to go just in case I develop a case of blogger’s block.  No, my decision to forgo this week’s offering is weather related.

After 3 months of broken Spring weather that saw a total of 5 days of sun in April, May and June, and temperatures that were 5-10 degrees below average with more rain that we needed, we Pacific Northwesterners have finally climbed out of our rut.  The 4th of July was cloudy and cool and ended on a sour, rainy note.  As is so often the case, summer seemed to finally arrive on July 5th, and after that it was official: we were headed toward a “heat wave” of sorts. The hottest day of the week is supposed to be Thursday July 8th, when the Seattle area should see temperatures in the MID NINETIES!!!

While that may not sound hot to those of you currently sweltering in other parts of the country, please realize that we here in the Puget Sound region are admittedly weather wimps.  We bitch when the temperature gets below freezing, and we bellyache when it gets above 85. But it’s not really our fault – we’re simply victims of environmental circumstance. One reason for our complaining is simply the physical inability to tolerate it. We’ve become acclimated to fairly mild weather here; everything seems to be in moderation so when that happy medium is violated things go horribly awry (one such manifestation of this weather-induced chaos is that we seem to lose all common sense and the ability to drive our vehicles).

Another reason for our inability to tolerate more-or-less-than-average weather can be blamed on the local television stations. The newscasters turn any unusual weather into front page news, and we the people simply have no choice but to follow suit. The result is that people talk of nothing but weather, and most often it takes the form of complaining.

It’s actually quite amusing the way the local network affiliates assign pet names for our weather events around here.  Snow storms become something much more daunting when named “Winter Blast” or “Artic Freeze”.  Wind storms, while they may not warrant first names like those given to Hurricanes, take on a certain persona when labeled ” The Hanukkah Eve Wind Storm of 2006″ or the “Inauguration Day Storm” (1993). Similarly, an unusually spell of warm weather, even if only 2-3 days in duration (like this one), begs to be named.  The local Fox affiliate (Q13) actually had a reader contest to name this latest “heat wave” (which they admit does not actually constitute an actual heat wave).  People submitted names, the powers that be voted, and it has been declared “Quick Fry in July”. I admit, it’s kinda catchy although I would have preferred simply “The July Fry” which was conceived of by a friend of a friend on Facebook. I would have submitted “Seattle Sizzler” but there’s more to the Northwest than just Seattle (although it sure seems as though Seattle controls politics around here). But I digress.

So yes, it’s going to get a little warm for our pale gray, moss-covered maritime hides. But you won’t find me complaining. Au contraire, I actually look forward to extreme weather events because it’s more interesting than the bland weather we have most of the time.  When our barometer either plunges or skyrockets, we can rest assured that we are in for some of the finest news-based entertainment available.  And some of that entertainment comes in the form of Jim Forman, reporter for the local NBC affiliate, KING 5.  “Danger Jim” as he is affectionately known in some circles, is the go-to guy when every other reporter is cowering under their desk in the newsroom. It would appear that Mr. Forman is the last bastion of bravery – the one reporter whom the news director can count on in a weather crisis. You’ll find Danger Jim in the eye of the hurricane, directly in the path of an avalanche, standing toe-to-toe with a PMSing Mother Nature as she gets her rage on. I always feel a little better knowing that Danger Jim is on duty, and with the mercury headed north, I can rest easy knowing he’ll be on location (probably at an asphalt plant wearing a black sweater and asbestos trousers) risking his own safety for that of others. I just hope he’s got his Smartshield sunscreen. Be safe, Jim.

In all seriousness (because I realize severe weather can be detrimental to one’s health and well being), I hope all 7 of my loyal readers are staying relatively comfortable in this sweltering onslaught of summer. I’ve decided that the best way for me to endure the hottest day of the year thus far is to go fishing. The Yakima River showed her cold shoulder last time, so I hope she’s warmed up a little.  It could reach 100 degrees in the Yakima Canyon tomorrow, but that’s OK – it’s a dry heat.

So there you have it – my blog this week is giving way to the heat. I just wouldn’t be fair of me to expect any of you to sit in front of your heat-generating computer monitors reading things you can certainly do without.  In fact, I recommend you power-down your laptops and desktops completely. With all the fans and AC units working overtime to keep the peace we don’t want to have to contend with a power brown out, although it would be fun to see what name the news stations would assign to that.

13 thoughts on “It’s so hot the fish are carping.”

  1. Denise S. says:

    Loyal Reader #1 reporting in: relatively comfortable, however not able to go fishing on the Yakima River today, due to work. So…how comfortable am I then, really?

    1. admin says:

      Denise- comfort, like the weather, is always relative. If you can’t be more comfortable than everyone else, rest easy knowing that you’re less uncomfortable than many. Thanks for chiming in- stay relatively cool today 😉

  2. I will forever be haunted by that image of Jim Forman. Thanks!

    1. admin says:

      Yeah, uh…sorry about that Dylan.

  3. Dave says:

    As loyal reader #8 (yes, I still read weekly) I’ll chime in here. Warm? Yes.. Hot? No.
    I was going to write an entire dissertation on living in Nashville TN @ 4 years ago and how miserable it was enduring roughly 4 weeks of 98-107 with 70+% humidity. I figured I’d spare you those details.
    Thing is… Why aren’t you fishing? Some time I’ll let you in on a little secret on how to catch those extremely picky fish.
    Hit me up in email and I’ll give you the run down.

    Dave

    1. admin says:

      Dave, I actually did take off on our hottest day to go fishing. Fishing was anything but hot, however. I know your secret to catching the picky fish. It’s called skill, which I don’t have. In lieu of that I may start rubbing a little powerbait on my flies.

  4. Jon De Jong says:

    You need to give that guy a bra!

    1. admin says:

      Jon, I think you meant to say, “give that guy a ‘bro'” – A manssiere, if you will.

  5. Mindy says:

    Wait…I thought I was loyal reader #8! Ok, Kirk, you got 9. Great read – very entertaining as always & love the Danger Jim poster, you ought to put that up somewheres. :)

    1. admin says:

      Mindy, thanks for chiming in. I’m pleased to have finally reached 9 loyal readers. Glad you enjoyed the Danger Jim bit. Did you know he’s actually got a Facebook page? Maybe I should post it over there 😉

  6. Patrick says:

    Roughly 580 nautical miles, almost due south, we’re asking “What heat wave?” Here just north and east of San Francisco, we’ve got overcast and cool mornings, clear and sunny days, and the evening cooled off by fog-kissed winds. And to think, during my eight-month stay in Issaquah (when it was a smallish town), I used sign letters “Ol’ Frozen Toes.” (That was ages ago, when we used to write letters with pen and paper.)

    1. admin says:

      Ol’ Frozen Toes- our heat wave was short lived. Just barely enough to give the TV reporters something to get excited about. We’re going to cool off 30 degrees in the next couple of days and everyone will be complaining about how cold it is again.

  7. Mindy says:

    Now, why would I need to go to Jim’s fb page when we’ve got you doing his work — but at least you have the good sense to report from the comfort of your own home. 😉

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